Mom and I went to see Marley & Me last night. Beware if you choose to watch this movie. I had to bite my lip for about 10 minutes trying to avoid an embarrassing display of emotion in the form of howling sadly along with the others. For ten minutes that theatre became dead quiet, with the exception of heartbroken sobbing, sniffling and coughing...it was THE longest sad scene I have ever survived.

Anyway, Jenny made reference to something that I can relate to very very well. She was telling her husband of how life is with children and said "I didn't know it would be this hard, no one tells you.". And obviously, I wanted to shout out YES. There are no words to describe how your life will change when you become a parent. There is no way to accurately describe how much you will sacrifice of yourself to become the new person your children require you to be in order to meet their needs. No one tells you about how frustration can tear at your throat until you want to scream, how the loneliness can echo loudly in your heart as you wish desperately for an adult to talk to. How the phone can evoke a hatred you didn't know existed when it wakes your baby from the nap you spent hours preparing for. How impossibly tired you can be. How no matter how you feel you must plug through the motions and try to remember why your life is everything you dreamed it would be. And it is. No one can describe how much you can love you children either. Right now I am not talking so much about that, as I am saying that I didn't know how hard this was going to be. Would I change it? Do I regret it? No. But it is very hard sometimes to keep the good stuff in the front of the brain load and the tough stuff in the back. I suppose it will be a life long process. All while the time spins out of control and my babies turn into moody teenagers. Right now I long for age 6. The fairytale years. Bring it on.

Anyways...most of you probably saw these photos on facebook already, but I want to share again. Thank you to Shelley and Bert for filling up the trunk, Shelley and Candi for donating it, and Uncle Merrit for painting it. Its beautiful and we will treasure it for years to come. Thank you :)

Thankyou...donut...thankyou

I was in the line up at Tim's drive through and all I could hear was the girls in the back seat, like broken records, repeating "Thank you, donut, thank you" in their tinker bell voices, so serious. Apparently they have it figured that a trip through the drive through at Tim's usually results in a donut. I actually had forgot to order them a donut and had to ask the lady at the window if it was too late, lol. It wasn't.

Once I ingested the givememytimscoffeeordie fix, we headed to the mall for some last minute Christmas shopping. Olivia ("Via psycho") began with a huge fit in LeSenza, and I noticed several glares pointed in my direction. Olivia came out screaming in this painful high pitched piercing way, and she has never outgrown the voice that is absolutely impossible to ignore. But if you think I am about to abort mission after all the work it is to get me and these three kids packed and bundled and off to town only to turn around and come home, you are sadly mistaken. So she screamed hysterically while I shopped and made my first purchase.

There must be something about a mom who is ready to abandon her children and run far far away, dropping the "F bomb" frequently along her way that makes people want to stop and talk to her. Not that this isn't a common phenomenon when pushing a triplet stroller full of offspring that greatly resembles triplets, but it sends of pheromones, attracting each and every curious woman in the mall, I swear it. I then stand there with a forced smile answering all the same old questions "No, they are not triplets", "Yes the girls are twins" "Yes my hands are full" "Yup, super happy I got a boy" "yes, we are all done" and the list drones on and on. And forgive me if I sound resentful, because I am not, generally, resentful about this at all. Its just that today I wanted to SELL my kids, give them away, abandon them, or even possibly pay someone to take them. I did NOT want to gush over their angelic blue eyes and so on and so forth. So I stared off on a spot in the distance and began the speed walk getoutofmyway and Ididntnoticeyoulooking walk only to have people GRAB the stroller or cut me off, forcing me into another of these awful conversations. My cheeks hurt from all that fake smiling. I could never be a politician.

Ben drained all the fuel out of our hot water tank in favour of go figure...winter fuel. So we are hoping our hot water issues are a thing of the past.

Until next time..

There are moments in parenthood where you just know you werentcutoutforthis. And today, I experienced one of these profound moments.

While I dug through an entire drawer of socks with no matches looking for three teeny sized pairs, Olivia decided she had a craving for crackers and margerine. Conrad, who became tense and irritable at the mere sight of toast crumbs in his margerine, will never know which of my many margerine containers was the victim...

I turned around and both girls were feeding the dog their yogurts...right off their spoons.

Svea unrolled the entire roll of papertowel.

Hayden put his foot down about naps once and for all, and screamed frantically for 45 minutes before I gave in. Before you call me a bad mom for making him wait, I was in my time machine, back in the 1800s, boiling water to add to cold so I could wash my hair and do the dishes. Its been over 10 days since I had heat blowing from heat ducts in my home. I have both fire places raging at all times, and have taken to washing at my moms house. And the kids stink. And I am totally sick of talking about it. Just know, that I have no hot water or heat and its been hitting -30 or colder with great regularity at nightime here.

Tonight, I get to go skiing with my sister in law, Lee-Anne. Ben just phoned and told me to behave. I always behave, so I really am not sure what he is worried about.........

From ours to yours, Happy Holidays

I attempted my own Sears Studio and was met with bad lighting, a lack of cooperation and plenty of frustration. If I couldnt get two to look at the picture, why would I think I could get all three?

LOL. Merry Christmas everyone!

"Via Psycho"

I posted this on the "due date club" I have been posting on since my pregnancy with the girls and wanted to share my evening with you without having to retype the entire thing. So for any of you ladies on JM, sorry for the repetitive nature of this story.

I use bad language. When I get mad, it takes all my energy not to blurt out the F word, oblivious to who may hear, or not. And really, if I am mad enough to start letting it fly, usually I, in the moment, dont care. I am not bragging, just letting you in on one of my baddest habits. I do, however, exercise my ability, daily, to use other words to describe things that drive me nuts. Unfortunately, these words are not always appropriate either. Case in point.....when Olivia has one of her crazed and hysterical meltdowns that involve high pitched at the top of her lungs break the sound barrier screaming, throwing of her body, punching the air with her little fists balled up so tight her knuckles have turned a dangerous shade of white, I commonly refer to her as "Psycho". And apparently, Svea has been taking note of this.

I dont know what provokes these attacks in Olivia. I rarely see the triggering event, so I am left to assume it was some very small thing that must have been the icing on the cake that sent her flying unceremoniously off the edge, but she had one of these very attacks this evening. I am by myself, completely for at least 15 days until Ben gets home. My moms evening help has been a thing of the past for months, as she has joined bi-weekly aquabics classes and usually has some sort of plans for the other nights with Christmas shopping and whatnot. Needless to say, my nerves are standing at attention, quivering on the brink of joining Britney Spears in an embarassingly public meltdown, but I have been bravely hanging on by one very shrayed thread. So as Olivia shreaked violently, shook the bars of her crib (yah, she was not IN her crib, by the way) angrily, threw herself down and shook her head like she was at an ACDC concert, Svea looked up at me wide eyed, humour twinkling in them, and because Olivia had attacked Hayden and he was now screaming in the background as well, proclaimed loudly, "Via psycho".

All in a days work. I laughed, snorted, gave Olivia her wish and "let" her go to bed early, picked up Svea, and walked out of Olivias room with a smile on my face, because at least I know one person in this house hold understands. Svea then asked to be let down, told me she was going to "choose a book" (where did she learn the word "choose" from anyways?), asked for her water, grabbed her "baby" and politely informed me that "Vaya" wanted to go "night night" too. Just wanted to share my evening laugh.

Christmas is on its way

And I am going nuts shopping. I have managed to get most of it done, but still need to get stocking stuffers and buy for my sister in law and step Dad, Conrad (whom I have started, and have a good plan for the rest). Ben will be spoiled this year, as usual. But the kids, wow. I am managing to behave fairly well, but I know at least one grandparent who has gone nuts with Christmas gifts already. I am so excited about Christmas this year with the girls being old enough to be excited about gifts!

I actually made a gingerbread house with the girls a few days ago, but have already started to eat it, lol. I figure if its all gone in the next week or two, we can always make another. Olivia really loved helping make it. She sat on my lap, smooshing as much candy between her lips as she could get, but she genuinely enjoyed sticking it on the house as well. Svea enjoyed it for a few moments, but she isnt so much into candy, so it wasnt nearly as interesting to her.

Next is home decoration. I need to dig through the disaster of boxes in our freshly painted, but carpetless (due to the flood) basement. I am hope hope hoping it will be finished by Christmas, the playstation always gets its most use during that Christmas season, and I know (honestly aquired, I swear) that we got an electric fireplace for the basement as a gift. We use wood heat all winter, so the furnace doesnt kick on, leaving the basement chilly. This should help tremedously :)

Anyways, go check out this blog, she always has lots of cool crafts and baking ideas and regular give aways :) http://patrizziagundich.blogspot.com/2008/12/friday-giveaway.html

Will post pics of the home decorations once completed. Hopefully the girls will enjoy it!

I popped a balloon on Svea's head yesterday. We were at a birthday party for their 4 year old friend Amber and I had been showing her how if you rub a balloon on your noggin, the balloon would stick to the wall afterward. But she only got the balloon sticking to the wall part, so I was excitedly showing her the head rubbing part again, and well..umm...pushed a bit too hard. The loud pop on her head had her ducking frantically with her eyes squeezed tightly shut, and when she opened her eyes she sighed, "Oh no, oh no" and shook her head sadly at the broken bits of balloon pieces all over the floor. If I wasn't rolling around laughing so hard, I may have actually cried for her. She looked so genuinely sad. Thankfully, she got over it when she realized there were plenty more balloons.

Olivia took it upon herself to stomp on someones foot at the birthday party. She just walked right up to Crystal and stomped on her foot and walked away after. I have no idea what possessed her to do this, but she usually goes ahead and does whatever pops randomly into her head and I really cannot and do not take responsibility for it. Its all her. She may look like an angel, but...well....she is no angel.

The girls are saying so much now. Ben's mom Jeanette was having some difficulty figuring the remote out while Ben and I were away at the ACDC concert in Minneapolis and apparently Olivia learned a select new word to use in association with the remote....let me give you a hint. It started with an F and ended with a k. And it was said with a definite frustration and some punctuation on the end. We have been hiding the remote since.

I always thought TV and kids were a bad combination. And I still do. Only I have adjusted my belief around this to a certain extent. TREEHOUSE is a learning channel. My girls know colors, how to count to ten, know their "please" and "thank you"s and even say "I'm sorry". Obviously I encourage them to use these skills at home to, but I have to admit, I have noticed a huge increase in their language since they actually started to pay attention to what is going on on the boob tube, and I am suitably impressed.

A quick update on those who did not hear how the ACDC concert weekend went. It was great. I don't remember too much about it, but Ben claims all kinds of falseness, and I do know that a slippery bar table attacked me as I attempted to climb over it and I have all kinds of resulting bruising. In all kinds of places. ALL kinds. I was actually straddling over the table to make it to the bathroom (I was finding it too hard to have everyone in my row stand up so I could squeeze by them, so I was climbing over the bar table immediately behind us and on the same floor as the washroom) when I discovered some silly drunk had spilled their beer on the table, leaving it very very slippery. Enough said. I am still tender and treating myself with delicate care (read- Kaija is not riding horses lately).

Ben is driving me nuts and I genuinely hope he returns to work soon. Each morning and evening he goes out "hunting" in our back yard, only to return and claim he saw all kinds of wildlife, but couldn't decide if he should actually shoot or not. OK, Shit or get off the pot buddy. He has been hunting like this for weeks. He is dying to shoot something, but neither of us really like deer. Shoot a bird dammit. I don't even LIKE wild game (with the exception of bird...and bunnies, because I am sick like that).

Included is some recent photos of the rugrats. I need to go to bed.

Christmas is coming everyone! I am excited!!! Cant wait to see you Candi and Shelley!!! (and Denis and Bert and all the animal children, lol)