Rainbows and ponytails

Declan

2011-06-14T05:58:00.000-07:00

Darling Declan slept like a champ through the entire session. Great job Christine and Judson, he is such a sweetheart!

Kool Kool Krymsun

2010-06-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

A while back I posted an entry about my new gelding I was incredibly excited to show. Unfortunately, it turned out he had a permanent, congenital problem that rendered him unable to stay sound enough to go show. I wont go on about my experience, but I will say that I will never buy a horse from Mark Harrell OR Lindsey Harrison again. Both of these people were aware of a problem with him (that apparently had been a problem since his yearling year when he was sold at the world show sale), but promoted that he was sane and sound and ready to go show. Not sure how long it will take for me to make it to the show ring again, but this experience has been profound enough to make me question my desire to continue showing horses in the AQHA all together. Mark Harrell did offer to do a trade, but when I got my new horse home, I have been disappointed to find that he will be unable to show until further notice as well. Mark Harrell then went on to resell the gelding named Kool Kool Krymsun with no mention of his known lameness problem. Very disappointing indeed.

2010-01-19T17:11:00.000-08:00

A little piece of Christmas joy

2010-01-19T17:06:00.000-08:00

2010-01-19T16:59:00.000-08:00

The key to happy kids

2010-01-19T16:52:00.001-08:00

Kool Kool Krymsun

2010-01-19T16:47:00.000-08:00

Perfect for ME.

2010-01-19T16:32:00.000-08:00

There is a new addition to our family. He is of the four legged sort. Chestnut, with two cute little socks behind. "Kash" is by One Hot Krymsun, who spells anything that sounds like "c" with a K. Such as it is, we changed his name from the former "Kool", because of the sheer number of "Cools" who have graced Tbay and area. His momma is by the great Zippo Pine Bar, which is fantastic, because when we set out to find our perfect horse, we really hoped to find something as closely related to him as we could. In our experience, we have loved the brains, and hoped to find one with a good one.

Anyways, Kash is a 4 year old gelding bred quite well and I really want to brag because of how much I am enjoying him. He is not perfect, far from it, God knows we cant afford anything even remotely close to perfection to go show Quarter Horse shows with. Perfect is completely relative anyways. Kool is perfect for me. I cant make any promises about going out and kicking anyones butt, however, I can aspire to go out and have fun trying. The thing I love most about horses is how there is no end to the learning, no end to attempting to access the full extent of your horses talent. I could ride for 100 years and never come close to knowing all there is to know. Kash will be long buried before I could ever have the opportunity to know how to ride him well enough to make him the absolute very best he can be. Thats what makes horses so exciting, chasing that dream. There you have it. I have my perfect horse and by God, I am gonna have fun chasing dreams with him.

Motherhood...hard enough to kill a man...made for a woman

2010-01-18T19:02:00.000-08:00

Motherhood: Its not like you get to try it on for size, you know, and if you decide its not really for you, return it. Like if you get a puppy and decide you made a mistake, and you can rehome it, or bring it back to the pound. In fact, its not even socially acceptable to say..or type, unless you go ahead and put a lol beside it to infer you are cracking a joke. Its not for a man either, he would simply flop over and play dead if you were to put the same expectation the world has for you, onto him. Please dont get the idea if I could return my kids, like a litter of puppies, that I would choose to. I most certainly would not. But to be honest, I would definitely put in a loop hole in there somewhere, to allow myself to continue to be the SAME individual I once was, with hopes and dreams, free of guilt and with a blessing from my significant other. I guess what I think would help all us mothers is a getoutofjailfree card we could use at our convenience when necessary. Thank goodness my mother survived motherhood, because she is as close as I am gonna get to that fantasy gift card for the next few years and may well be the only thing that keeps me balancing on this side of the fence....

Oh look...its 10:30. I cant wait till I grow up and I can go to bed anytime I want, until then, hopefully I will manage to find the time to update my blog again before next year :)

Because they are just so dang cute

2009-04-04T17:48:00.000-07:00

Mothers always think their children are the cutest in the world. I am no exception. Habitually, I have this thing about always having a camera with me. They are rather tired of looking at the big black box that seems to constantly be dangling in front of their faces, and so, they quite refuse to look at it. Which I find particularily frustrating. And so, note that most of these pictures come with little eye contact, not from lack of work on my part either. But I am tired of people deciding that I am crazy based on the odd sounds and frantic motions I am making from behind the camera. I still do it, I just am kind of self conscious about it. Anyways, here are a recent few (ie today) of the rugrats. Notice Hayden is wearing pink? Yah. Real men wear pink.

Enjoy :)

Dear Rugrats,

2009-03-18T19:09:00.000-07:00

Dear fat lips, "cappy" bums, and "dootbags" (Svea's expression for those she is annoyed with), I am taking the weekend off. Starting tomorrow. Your dad and I are headed to Banff, just the two of us, where we can ski, eat fancy dinners, and drink alcohol laden beverages with little to no guilt, and much less interruption.

Please be easy on your grandparents, who bravely assumed responsibility while your parents ran, giggling, barely looking over our shoulders, off to the the Rockies.

Now, to get specific:

Svea, please do not tell your grandmas (and Nanny's) about how your slinky "is all ___cked up". I threw it away, slapped your father, and tried to have an adult conversation about appropriate language around toddlers (yah, ME...). By the time I was done, he heard about how calling Barney a "Homo" may not actually be a swear, but remains inappropriate none-the-less. Sighhh. Please do not refer to Hayden as a "dootbag" (aka Dirtbag, compliments of mom, who thought this sounded so much better than other alternatives that your father has been teaching you).

Olivia, I know you feel emotions stronger than the average toddler, but if you could refrain from desperately begging your poor grandparents to put you to bed for the sole purpose of sucking on your silly "doo doo", that would be much appreciated. And by the way, you are not Jacob Two Two, so please refrain from repeating things with such rapid repetition that your grandparents become sure they are hearing an echo. Lastly, please, do not try to drown, smother, squash, or kill your brother on any level while we are gone.

Lastly, Hayden. Please, do not create any need for emergency hospital visits due to split lips, black eyes, broken bones, or anything of the sort due to your extreme climbing or fighting with siblings. Please realize you will one day be an adult male and give up the 24/7 need to suck on a pacifier. Love those Grandparents as they love you.

See you on Monday.

We could be slightly hung over and very sore, but we should be much better, well rested parents on our return.

Love you lots,

Mommy and Daddy
xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxo

Look Who's Walking....(well, Liv has been for awhile...)

2009-02-23T17:19:00.000-08:00

2009-02-23T07:34:00.000-08:00

Life has become such a busy place that I have neglected to keep my blog up to date..on any level.

Firstly, Ben is in Alberta working for a month. It has only been a week and a few days, but it already feels like a life time. Funny how a person can go from detesting the way he can leave a trail of crumbs indicating not only exactly what he ate, but what order he ate it in, to wishing the toaster had been left out along with the peanut butter and jam...and the obviousness that he has something against buttering toast on a plate, rather than the counter top. I even miss the trail of clothes. Mind you, since the dryer decided to quit a few days ago, I suppose its one of those blessings in disguise (that he isn't here, not that the dryer is broken). What is up with that anyways? How do my appliances always recognise Ben's absence as being the most perfectly appropriate time to keel over and collapse, tongue hanging out the side like an exhausted dog on a hot summer day? Arg. I suppose I really ought to be on the phone right now arranging a repair man.

This is the week I return to work full time. I am nervous about it...nervous that I am going to wish I hadn't decided to jump back in full time...nervous about how the change is going to affect the kids, nervous about little things, like waking up early in the morning and going to bed early enough to get the right amount of sleep. But mostly, I am looking forward to it. I miss my adult friends and the adult conversations and the feeling of being a professional. I miss having a reason to climb out of bed and take a shower and put on pretty clothes. I miss that early morning Tim Horton's coffee. So I am looking forward to this change in my life. I am looking forward to looking forward to getting home from work to see my children come running, screaming "MOMMY!" as I walk in the door. I look forward to looking forward to seeing them in general, because realistically, with Ben out of town and the responsibility of three toddlers (did I just say that, just because he is walking, doesn't mean he is already a toddler, does it?) I feel completely overwhelmed and exhausted. So I really honestly and truly do believe that working during the day will help me to be a better, happier parent during the night. Maybe its all just wishful thinking, but a girl has to hang onto something, doesn't she?

Well, Hayden is now laying on his belly on the floor, the smell of a freshly soiled diaper tickling my nostrils and his best pathetic whiny voice on indicating his desire to be freshly diapered. Not that I blame him...

Auntie "Pee-Anne" and me

2009-01-25T18:27:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share a few pics of the rug rats from the other day. Auntie got coined as "Pee-

Anne" after attempting to teach my kids to call me "Mommy Caca Bum"...might I add, unsuccessfully. They call her this with great inflexion and joy. Cheers Lee-Anne, lol.

Bake Off

2009-01-25T18:24:00.000-08:00

Mom and I had a crazy day today. She made the most gigantic, delectable, mouth watering pot of chili while I dove into the baking supplies. We managed to turn out enough Chili to feed an army, banana bread, banana muffins, and a double batch of peanut butter cookies. Yum. I am exhausted. Thanks for a nice day, mom :)

Daddy is home

2009-01-22T09:51:00.000-08:00

How pretty does my moms house look in this picture. I cant wait to bring the horses home to enjoy the beautiful "new" barn and fences! There is nothing quite like waking up in the morning and looking out the window to see your horses grazing right out your kitchen window. My mom and I, living next door to one another, both get to enjoy this phenomenon. If you don't have a horse, quick, go get one, they must be one of the most peaceful animals in the world to watch.

The girls are starting to get a sense of time. They say things like "I miss Daddy" and "Daddy's at work in bush now". They love when he is home. Olivia thinks daddy puts the stars in the sky at night, in fact, once daddy is home, I am just a bowl of cold oatmeal as far as she is concerned. I take that as a good sign. He has patience with them when I do not. Maybe its because I am the one worn out all week, maybe its just him, but he is the one who will dress these girls all up and take them outside to drag them around the house over and over again on their sleds while they giggle and laugh and teach them how they can slide down the snowbanks on their bottoms. Anyways, Daddy is home for an indefinite period of time again thanks to the failing forestry industry and the kids couldn't be happier. And if I am really honest, part of me is too. It sure feels different to parent children with two parents present and I am finally getting some much needed rest. Funny how the kids sleep through the night when he is home, the minute he steps out the door that seems to change lately.

My little miss prissy is always up to new tricks. Svea no longer naps. So we get a few hours daily where its just the two of us. She loves purses. The girls have these little stuffed giraffes and zebras where the legs and head can be removed, they are actually attached with little button magnets. Today she was carrying around a purse full of zebra and giraffe legs. Very serious like too. "Mommy, I have purse!". We have a bit of a routine now. If she helps me make my bed, she can hang in the big "comfy bed" and watch Treehouse while I shower. She then completely ruins the freshly made look by jumping and falling all over it while watching TV.

Hayden has learned if he is going to be the youngest boy child with two older sisters, he must fight for his place in the pecking order. He is easily as strong as the girls are, and because they consistently try to take every toy he has away from him, he understands that even if you don't want something, power means getting it away from the person who has it. So he will single mindedly attempt to steal anything he can from his sisters and screams in fury when they fight him in the age old tug a war. He is still at the bottom of the pecking order, but I am not sure for how long.

I am off to the ski hill tonight for some much needed relief from these three crazy toddlers. Need I say "What happens at the hill stays at the hill"? LOL. I know we are going to have a few extra guests this week that should be a very interesting mix.

Renaldo and Me

2009-01-15T21:48:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share some different pictures today. Mainly of myself and my firstborn son, Renaldo. Renaldo filled the blanks while I waited to have children. I wanted to be sure I could keep a child like being alive for a year before actually having children. He bathes, he wears clothes, he sleeps in a bed, just like us. However, once the children were born, it suddenly occurred to me that I had the most high need dog in history for someone who lives in one of the coldest winter climates available. Renaldo keeps finding his way home again, lol, and here he is. In his glory. And I missed him so. I hope to dog share with my mom (since Ben hates him), that way I have company during the week when he is gone, and Ben shares his bed only with his wife when he is home. Good arrangement, no?

Poor Olivia has a killer cold and she looks like a wreck. If she still looks tomorrow like she has the last few days, I will post a picture. Until then, yay, I posted two days in a row!

I missed ski night due to the extreme temperatures. I am bitterly disappointed, but did however, get out to a movie with my mom (Bride Wars, since we like chick flicks). It was very cute. No brain power needed.

Saucy Svea, Octave Olivia and Hayden the Horrible....

2009-01-14T19:45:00.000-08:00

I have been suffering from writers block lately. I have no idea what to even say....

My children are growing up. Svea has what I would call a "strong personality". She wakes in the morning with a smile on her face and tears through her day like a hurricane in Kansas. Her tastes run from fairy wings and rubber boots to Barney and winds up in a certain pair of jeans matched with a certain sweater (one that matches her sisters usually) and all this includes at least 101 shoe changes a day. She has this thing about me sitting down too. The mere sound of my ass landing softly on a chair nearby triggers an instantaneous chronic and desperate need for a new cup of juice, yogo bites, zip zips, bananas, or more milk for her cereal. The sound of a safety gate closing implements an immediate need for something on a floor she is not currently on (thankfully for her, she has four to choose from). When the daylight fades and the winter darkness settles in, she barely skips a beat. She can keep you hopping even in the twilight hours now that she has learned that frantic hollering on her part almost always results in a half naked shivering mother racing down the stairs to feed her peeled grapes if that's what it will take to stop the little she devil from waking her siblings. Bet you would never guess, just by looking at her. Sighhh.....

Olivia makes you laugh too. She is what the young people of today would refer to as being "random". Let me explain. At any time of the day, if she is waking up in her crib, she will proudly exclaim "GOOD MORNING!!" when you walk into her room. Could be supper time, no matter, when Olivia wakes, it is morning. Not that weird, no, not until she furthers her commentating with a polite "Sorry mommy" and "Nice Bum!!" comment. Each morning (and nap time), I must ask her why she is sorry, which she usually responds to with an equally random comment like "No baby! NO! Svea sleeping?! Doo Doos are for NIGHT time ONLY". She hates her brother. Hates him. I swear it. There is no words for how low she is willing to go to make him pay for making her the middle child. Soon, however, she will be smart to give this up, since he is almost as big as she is already. Thing is about Olivia, she may be beautiful and graceful and quite princess like, but she doesn't have a gentle bone in her body. Laugh, go ahead, but when the tomboy presents herself in our house, I doubt its going to be Svea like you all think. Oh no, Olivia has no fear, and combine that with long blond hair, legs that go on forever, and a motocross track in the backyard, this one is going to be miles ahead of boys for years to come. If she doesn't speed up, cut them off, and kick their bodies out of her way on the way past the finish line.

Hayden is a real, honest to goodness boy child. He grunts, he farts, he eats like his father (basically doesn't stop eating until his hatch is full to throat level), he growls, enjoys playing with potties and toilet brushes and above all else, enjoys torturing his sisters (namely Olivia, since she screams so satisfyingly). He is fast, bright, strong, and has the brightest smile I have ever seen. Parenting three two and under sucks sometimes, I am not going to lie, but this child can shoot you a 10 000 watt smile guaranteed to melt your heart instantly.

And if that doesn't work, well, I always have Thursday night ski night, don't I?

Which reminds me, I should go to bed now, so I can get enough rest to make up for what I wont get tommorow night......

2008-12-31T16:55:00.000-08:00

Mom and I went to see Marley & Me last night. Beware if you choose to watch this movie. I had to bite my lip for about 10 minutes trying to avoid an embarrassing display of emotion in the form of howling sadly along with the others. For ten minutes that theatre became dead quiet, with the exception of heartbroken sobbing, sniffling and coughing...it was THE longest sad scene I have ever survived.

Anyway, Jenny made reference to something that I can relate to very very well. She was telling her husband of how life is with children and said "I didn't know it would be this hard, no one tells you.". And obviously, I wanted to shout out YES. There are no words to describe how your life will change when you become a parent. There is no way to accurately describe how much you will sacrifice of yourself to become the new person your children require you to be in order to meet their needs. No one tells you about how frustration can tear at your throat until you want to scream, how the loneliness can echo loudly in your heart as you wish desperately for an adult to talk to. How the phone can evoke a hatred you didn't know existed when it wakes your baby from the nap you spent hours preparing for. How impossibly tired you can be. How no matter how you feel you must plug through the motions and try to remember why your life is everything you dreamed it would be. And it is. No one can describe how much you can love you children either. Right now I am not talking so much about that, as I am saying that I didn't know how hard this was going to be. Would I change it? Do I regret it? No. But it is very hard sometimes to keep the good stuff in the front of the brain load and the tough stuff in the back. I suppose it will be a life long process. All while the time spins out of control and my babies turn into moody teenagers. Right now I long for age 6. The fairytale years. Bring it on.

Anyways...most of you probably saw these photos on facebook already, but I want to share again. Thank you to Shelley and Bert for filling up the trunk, Shelley and Candi for donating it, and Uncle Merrit for painting it. Its beautiful and we will treasure it for years to come. Thank you :)

Thankyou...donut...thankyou

2008-12-19T19:05:00.000-08:00

I was in the line up at Tim's drive through and all I could hear was the girls in the back seat, like broken records, repeating "Thank you, donut, thank you" in their tinker bell voices, so serious. Apparently they have it figured that a trip through the drive through at Tim's usually results in a donut. I actually had forgot to order them a donut and had to ask the lady at the window if it was too late, lol. It wasn't.

Once I ingested the givememytimscoffeeordie fix, we headed to the mall for some last minute Christmas shopping. Olivia ("Via psycho") began with a huge fit in LeSenza, and I noticed several glares pointed in my direction. Olivia came out screaming in this painful high pitched piercing way, and she has never outgrown the voice that is absolutely impossible to ignore. But if you think I am about to abort mission after all the work it is to get me and these three kids packed and bundled and off to town only to turn around and come home, you are sadly mistaken. So she screamed hysterically while I shopped and made my first purchase.

There must be something about a mom who is ready to abandon her children and run far far away, dropping the "F bomb" frequently along her way that makes people want to stop and talk to her. Not that this isn't a common phenomenon when pushing a triplet stroller full of offspring that greatly resembles triplets, but it sends of pheromones, attracting each and every curious woman in the mall, I swear it. I then stand there with a forced smile answering all the same old questions "No, they are not triplets", "Yes the girls are twins" "Yes my hands are full" "Yup, super happy I got a boy" "yes, we are all done" and the list drones on and on. And forgive me if I sound resentful, because I am not, generally, resentful about this at all. Its just that today I wanted to SELL my kids, give them away, abandon them, or even possibly pay someone to take them. I did NOT want to gush over their angelic blue eyes and so on and so forth. So I stared off on a spot in the distance and began the speed walk getoutofmyway and Ididntnoticeyoulooking walk only to have people GRAB the stroller or cut me off, forcing me into another of these awful conversations. My cheeks hurt from all that fake smiling. I could never be a politician.

Ben drained all the fuel out of our hot water tank in favour of go figure...winter fuel. So we are hoping our hot water issues are a thing of the past.

Until next time..

2008-12-18T13:00:00.000-08:00

There are moments in parenthood where you just know you werentcutoutforthis. And today, I experienced one of these profound moments.

While I dug through an entire drawer of socks with no matches looking for three teeny sized pairs, Olivia decided she had a craving for crackers and margerine. Conrad, who became tense and irritable at the mere sight of toast crumbs in his margerine, will never know which of my many margerine containers was the victim...

I turned around and both girls were feeding the dog their yogurts...right off their spoons.

Svea unrolled the entire roll of papertowel.

Hayden put his foot down about naps once and for all, and screamed frantically for 45 minutes before I gave in. Before you call me a bad mom for making him wait, I was in my time machine, back in the 1800s, boiling water to add to cold so I could wash my hair and do the dishes. Its been over 10 days since I had heat blowing from heat ducts in my home. I have both fire places raging at all times, and have taken to washing at my moms house. And the kids stink. And I am totally sick of talking about it. Just know, that I have no hot water or heat and its been hitting -30 or colder with great regularity at nightime here.

Tonight, I get to go skiing with my sister in law, Lee-Anne. Ben just phoned and told me to behave. I always behave, so I really am not sure what he is worried about.........

From ours to yours, Happy Holidays

2008-12-09T17:43:00.000-08:00

I attempted my own Sears Studio and was met with bad lighting, a lack of cooperation and plenty of frustration. If I couldnt get two to look at the picture, why would I think I could get all three?

LOL. Merry Christmas everyone!

"Via Psycho"

2008-12-09T17:09:00.000-08:00

I posted this on the "due date club" I have been posting on since my pregnancy with the girls and wanted to share my evening with you without having to retype the entire thing. So for any of you ladies on JM, sorry for the repetitive nature of this story.

I use bad language. When I get mad, it takes all my energy not to blurt out the F word, oblivious to who may hear, or not. And really, if I am mad enough to start letting it fly, usually I, in the moment, dont care. I am not bragging, just letting you in on one of my baddest habits. I do, however, exercise my ability, daily, to use other words to describe things that drive me nuts. Unfortunately, these words are not always appropriate either. Case in point.....when Olivia has one of her crazed and hysterical meltdowns that involve high pitched at the top of her lungs break the sound barrier screaming, throwing of her body, punching the air with her little fists balled up so tight her knuckles have turned a dangerous shade of white, I commonly refer to her as "Psycho". And apparently, Svea has been taking note of this.

I dont know what provokes these attacks in Olivia. I rarely see the triggering event, so I am left to assume it was some very small thing that must have been the icing on the cake that sent her flying unceremoniously off the edge, but she had one of these very attacks this evening. I am by myself, completely for at least 15 days until Ben gets home. My moms evening help has been a thing of the past for months, as she has joined bi-weekly aquabics classes and usually has some sort of plans for the other nights with Christmas shopping and whatnot. Needless to say, my nerves are standing at attention, quivering on the brink of joining Britney Spears in an embarassingly public meltdown, but I have been bravely hanging on by one very shrayed thread. So as Olivia shreaked violently, shook the bars of her crib (yah, she was not IN her crib, by the way) angrily, threw herself down and shook her head like she was at an ACDC concert, Svea looked up at me wide eyed, humour twinkling in them, and because Olivia had attacked Hayden and he was now screaming in the background as well, proclaimed loudly, "Via psycho".

All in a days work. I laughed, snorted, gave Olivia her wish and "let" her go to bed early, picked up Svea, and walked out of Olivias room with a smile on my face, because at least I know one person in this house hold understands. Svea then asked to be let down, told me she was going to "choose a book" (where did she learn the word "choose" from anyways?), asked for her water, grabbed her "baby" and politely informed me that "Vaya" wanted to go "night night" too. Just wanted to share my evening laugh.

Christmas is on its way

2008-12-05T10:02:00.000-08:00

And I am going nuts shopping. I have managed to get most of it done, but still need to get stocking stuffers and buy for my sister in law and step Dad, Conrad (whom I have started, and have a good plan for the rest). Ben will be spoiled this year, as usual. But the kids, wow. I am managing to behave fairly well, but I know at least one grandparent who has gone nuts with Christmas gifts already. I am so excited about Christmas this year with the girls being old enough to be excited about gifts!

I actually made a gingerbread house with the girls a few days ago, but have already started to eat it, lol. I figure if its all gone in the next week or two, we can always make another. Olivia really loved helping make it. She sat on my lap, smooshing as much candy between her lips as she could get, but she genuinely enjoyed sticking it on the house as well. Svea enjoyed it for a few moments, but she isnt so much into candy, so it wasnt nearly as interesting to her.

Next is home decoration. I need to dig through the disaster of boxes in our freshly painted, but carpetless (due to the flood) basement. I am hope hope hoping it will be finished by Christmas, the playstation always gets its most use during that Christmas season, and I know (honestly aquired, I swear) that we got an electric fireplace for the basement as a gift. We use wood heat all winter, so the furnace doesnt kick on, leaving the basement chilly. This should help tremedously :)

Anyways, go check out this blog, she always has lots of cool crafts and baking ideas and regular give aways :) http://patrizziagundich.blogspot.com/2008/12/friday-giveaway.html

Will post pics of the home decorations once completed. Hopefully the girls will enjoy it!

2008-12-01T18:16:00.000-08:00

I popped a balloon on Svea's head yesterday. We were at a birthday party for their 4 year old friend Amber and I had been showing her how if you rub a balloon on your noggin, the balloon would stick to the wall afterward. But she only got the balloon sticking to the wall part, so I was excitedly showing her the head rubbing part again, and well..umm...pushed a bit too hard. The loud pop on her head had her ducking frantically with her eyes squeezed tightly shut, and when she opened her eyes she sighed, "Oh no, oh no" and shook her head sadly at the broken bits of balloon pieces all over the floor. If I wasn't rolling around laughing so hard, I may have actually cried for her. She looked so genuinely sad. Thankfully, she got over it when she realized there were plenty more balloons.

Olivia took it upon herself to stomp on someones foot at the birthday party. She just walked right up to Crystal and stomped on her foot and walked away after. I have no idea what possessed her to do this, but she usually goes ahead and does whatever pops randomly into her head and I really cannot and do not take responsibility for it. Its all her. She may look like an angel, but...well....she is no angel.

The girls are saying so much now. Ben's mom Jeanette was having some difficulty figuring the remote out while Ben and I were away at the ACDC concert in Minneapolis and apparently Olivia learned a select new word to use in association with the remote....let me give you a hint. It started with an F and ended with a k. And it was said with a definite frustration and some punctuation on the end. We have been hiding the remote since.

I always thought TV and kids were a bad combination. And I still do. Only I have adjusted my belief around this to a certain extent. TREEHOUSE is a learning channel. My girls know colors, how to count to ten, know their "please" and "thank you"s and even say "I'm sorry". Obviously I encourage them to use these skills at home to, but I have to admit, I have noticed a huge increase in their language since they actually started to pay attention to what is going on on the boob tube, and I am suitably impressed.

A quick update on those who did not hear how the ACDC concert weekend went. It was great. I don't remember too much about it, but Ben claims all kinds of falseness, and I do know that a slippery bar table attacked me as I attempted to climb over it and I have all kinds of resulting bruising. In all kinds of places. ALL kinds. I was actually straddling over the table to make it to the bathroom (I was finding it too hard to have everyone in my row stand up so I could squeeze by them, so I was climbing over the bar table immediately behind us and on the same floor as the washroom) when I discovered some silly drunk had spilled their beer on the table, leaving it very very slippery. Enough said. I am still tender and treating myself with delicate care (read- Kaija is not riding horses lately).

Ben is driving me nuts and I genuinely hope he returns to work soon. Each morning and evening he goes out "hunting" in our back yard, only to return and claim he saw all kinds of wildlife, but couldn't decide if he should actually shoot or not. OK, Shit or get off the pot buddy. He has been hunting like this for weeks. He is dying to shoot something, but neither of us really like deer. Shoot a bird dammit. I don't even LIKE wild game (with the exception of bird...and bunnies, because I am sick like that).

Included is some recent photos of the rugrats. I need to go to bed.

Christmas is coming everyone! I am excited!!! Cant wait to see you Candi and Shelley!!! (and Denis and Bert and all the animal children, lol)

Whats for dinner?

2008-11-25T16:06:00.001-08:00

I was real fancy tonight and cooked up some frozen chicken nuggets and french fries. The girls like to dip their french fries in ketchup, so I squeezed out a large glop on each plate and began to dig into my own. Suddenly, Svea began this hoarse hollering, and I looked up to see her eyes glassy with tears and her entire hand scratching desperately at her tongue. She frantically pulled all food out with both hands and flung it back onto her plate with a very definite "HOT". I felt terrible...but honestly couldn't figure out how the food could possibly have been hot. Mine was perfect, and hers spent a few minutes cooling in the freezer before I served it. Either way, we carried on. I briefly wondered about the tang in my ketchup, but really didn't clue in completely until Svea began to scream and dig around in the back of her throat again. I handed her a facecloth, and she vigorously rubbed her tongue with it. I then handed her a paper towel for her hands, but that also served as a tongue rag, and she soaked up any remaining spit in her mouth with that paper towel. So I looked over and noticed the ketchup bottle said....*ahem* "Hot & Spicy". Yah......ummm....who bought that? Once I managed to stop choking on my food through my hysterical giggles, I wiped away the rest of Svea's "hot" ketchup and gave her some of the nice normal kind.

I have been terrible at posting lately. I wont even make any excuses.

Tomorrow I get to go to work and supply for one of the few woman I know without question, that I quite dislike. I didn't know who I was accepting shifts for until after I agreed. At least I don't have to work with her. LOL. My cup is half full today.

The other half is full of grumpy man. He walked in the door after spending the day puttering about outdoors to announce in a bossy voice, "Whats for dinner?". Way to irritate my feminist side. That's OK, I work Wed, Thurs, Fri this week. Hope he enjoys his role as Mr. Mom.

Olivia is a naughty little turkey. She is one of those ones that does something she knows is "bad" and then covers her bum and scoots. Or if you tell her not to do something (like throw the pot into the sink full of glasses and plates), she does it faster, ie) RUNS and THROWS the pot and effectively smashes all the dishes in the sink. She attempts to drown her brother, shove her brother, kick her brother in the head, and almost continually yells "NO BABY NO" at him. She goes from one thing to the next, smearing charcoal pieces from the wood stove, ripping open boxed Christmas presents, mounting her brother,climbing under the railing to get upstairs, closing every bedroom door (they must stay open if we hope for them to be heated, since we use our wood stove continually), to getting her hand stuck in the water cooler bottles. You must always pay attention and need not bother to attempt to sit down, because between the catastrophes she creates wiping all the books off the shelves and the constant requests (followed by ear piercing shrieking) for juice, cookies, bananas, "zip zips" (dry fruit loops), and yogurt, you have no time to anyways. The ONLY way I can reliably get 5 minutes, is to turn the TV on, in which case she immediately zones out all further communication with mankind and stands staring, open mouthed at the TV.

Dang, gotta run, all three are screaming. Maybe I will make it back to update further....hopefully this month......ohoh.....

EyeCandy Workshop assignment. 6 locations. Same subject. Oh well, I got 5. Good enough.

2008-11-02T18:49:00.000-08:00

So, if you only ever had to photograph the most beautiful and willing models on the most beautiful days, with the perfect amount of light, and a beautiful backdrop, life would be good. This assignment was to help you learn to work in different settings. I chose my most willing model (but will admit to trapping him on a very tall chair to assist in his willingness).

I need to trap Olivia next. My beautiful princess with a distinct hereditary family trait stemming from both sides that has resulted in an unfortunate disregard for all things camera and photo related.

Our brother is the devil...and we have proof.

2008-11-02T18:36:00.000-08:00

I am always saying Olivia cant stand her little brother. I don't know if you realize how bad it truly is. Just crawling near her gives him the satisfying response of listening to her screech (and I do mean screech) "BABY BABY!!". She will get wound up like she is ready to explode with distaste. If he even LOOKS at her sippy cup, she goes absolutely nuts. So, when I gave them their bag of mega blocks to build with, she was adamant, that her bratty little brother was not to be in on the action. He was so very tempted by all those colorful blocks, and made it in for his kill on several occasions, each crashed tower met with hysterical screaming, slapping, and sobbing. Obviously, I was of no help at all. I was too busy shaking and giggling and snorting while trying to adjust my settings on my camera so I could make it a permanent memory. She decided to take matters into her own hands. First, she tried to lift baby to move him away from her area. He was much too heavy (being less than 3 lbs lighter than his twin sisters even at 19 months their Jr). So she resorted to dragging him. And as you can tell, he took this very very seriously.

I think he is going to have a lot of fun with his sisters as they grow up, don't you?

Grabbing models when I can

2008-10-29T14:16:00.000-07:00

This is Jessica, her daughter Bella, and her fiance Ryan. They were over for a visit (Bella and Hayden are dating) and I forced my camera on them while they were here. I couldnt help myself, have you SEEN them? I may have to force myself and my camera on them more often, it appears the camera likes them.

I was trying to get a family picture of them, but Hayden kept crawling into the shoot, hense the laughing and direction the family is looking in. I did eventually get a better shot, bit this remains my favourite.

And how gorgeous is this baby? She could not possibly get any prettier. Hayden is smitten.

Any other models out there wanting a free shoot, please let me know, I am ALWAYS in for a reason to shoot some more pics :)

Tracey.

Ohhh....pretty tutu. Apparently now I gotta buy one each

2008-10-21T19:46:00.000-07:00

Need I say more? How cute are these girls? Ok, I am the mom...but they ARE some kind of cute, aren't they?

DONT take my picture. Crap.

2008-10-20T20:03:00.000-07:00

I thought I would try and get some cute Halloween pics of the kids today. I have said a million times, that Olivia does not like to have her pic taken, and I wasn't exaggerating. I actually stood there aiming the camera at her long enough that she peeked to see if I was still there. Caught her though, didn't I? lol. Brat.

Hayden is the easiest to photograph so far. He aint easy, don't get me wrong, but he cant run yet. You have just got to give him something to hang onto and voila, he will stay relatively still for a couple moments.

Svea is either in the mood for it and models, or gets out of there. Thing about her, is she moves like her dad....lightening speed.

The kids have been pooping lots lately. I don't mean quick little hard poops either. I mean like, 1/4 inch stink clay stuck to their bums so evenly and so thickly, that you cant see one tiny little iota of skin. It takes 400 wipes and a carpet full of shit (not to mention the entire child's outfit and your very compromised hands) to see skin. Hayden is very annoyed about this lately, he squirms and wiggles and grunts angrily the entire time you try to hold him. And until I had a boy, I had no idea how.....crevicey (for lack of a better word) balls actually are. I suppose until you have to wipe stink clay out of them, you would never notice. When Hayden was first born, I gingerly wiped at those areas, unsure of what amount of pressure was acceptable. I have since learned that apparently those things are far less sensitive than most men admit to, because I have flattened them like pancakes in attempt to clean them to an acceptable condition before re diapering and he has never said a word......

Learn new things every day huh?

Nice.

Please excuse me while I take a hot screaming shower

2008-10-17T10:31:00.001-07:00

So Hayden learned how to pull up while I was away at the Brandon QH Show. Now that he can do this, he prefers to practice at any available time. Like...nap time...and night time..and day time...and bath time.

Today he chose to forgo nap time in favour of practicing his new trick. Eventually I gave up on the nap (as I was about to shower) and chose to take him with me in the shower. Above, is the view I had of my very naked son, crashing my shower time. Of course, by the time I climbed out and grabbed my trusty camera, his screaming had stopped. But I now get to enjoy my hot shower kind of cold, with a screaming angrily baby who wants to be held while I try to soap my privates. Its a real blast.

Just thought I would share.

But he sure is cute, isn't he?

hmph.

Thanksgiving Classic QH Show

2008-10-15T10:35:00.000-07:00

I am completely and totally exhausted, but had a great weekend away. Jag has been better behaved, but he had excuses and held his own. We won a Hunter under Saddle class every day and for the most part, that's all we showed him in.

Mom and I had a great time minus diaper duty, though during some quiet moments you could almost feel us wishing we had the children there. They sure would have loved that pool. Next year maybe the girls can come. Its a concrete jungle, that show and it would be difficult with really young children, for sure.

I really just wanted to share the pics....but something seems to be holding me up here. If they don't arrive, stay tuned for next time.

I have stuff that needs to be picked up from the border and am hoping my mom will take pity on me and grab them for me, LOL. I left the kids birth certificates and health cards with their daddy while we were away..so its not an option for me.

Love you mommy :)

I dont think they really get any cuter than this

2008-10-09T19:02:00.000-07:00

Speaking of a lack of glamour.....

2008-10-09T08:49:00.001-07:00

So on Tuesday, I went with Ben to the bush to help him move some equipment from one camp to another. Occasionally, I figure its a good thing for me to get some sort of real concept of what his life is like in the bush. I decided it completely lacks in glamour and realized that when Ben comes home from the bush with his head spinning around on his shoulders like a top, that he has good reason.

It sucks. Its dirty, greasy, smelly and the guy lives in a tiny little trailer with a bed so short he has to dangle his legs off the side while he sleeps. The roads were so rough, I was afraid to pull the fuel trailer any faster than 20 km and was tempted to hit the four wheel drive button on more than one occasion. He has to do all his "business" in a plastic porta potty he hauls from camp to camp himself and often times, the other bush workers take it upon themselves to just use Ben's and pee all over the damn thing.

I watched him change a cylinder. After a fair amount of grunting and wrenching, he managed to get the job done. He is fast, and talented at his work. But even then, he had oil spraying on his face, down his arms and generally looked like he had rolled in it when it was all done. To think in the winter the poor guy has to do these very same things while freezing his hands on the cold metal and thick grease in the -30 temperatures so common for the area he works in.

Yuck.

So, as I report my findings of life in the bush, I find myself feeling thankful that my job requires changing shitty diapers in my warm large home with my big king size fluffy bed and my never ending supply of hot clean water. Oh, and with little to no chance of some dirty, nasty, stinky dude who hasn't showered or gone home in a month doing his business in my toilet.

My husband works hard at the most unglamourous job I think I have ever seen. Thanks hon. I will just stick to diaper duty. Go ahead and get that new Atco trailer your thinking of.....you deserve it.

Shit.

2008-10-01T20:03:00.000-07:00

I changed 6 diapers before 10:30 am this morning. Three of them were brown. I had no idea having children would be so incredibly glamorous. The girls announce their poopy bottoms now. MOMMY CA CA MOMMY!!!!!!!!!! BUM!!. Usually, we have outgrown the infamous and super subtle butt sniff around here now. Svea has this issue with you really getting her umm...clean down there, and locks her knees together with so much force, you gotta use both hands to pry em apart and then you have no hands left to do the cleaning. Olivia tries to grab everything in the diaper, so you frantically get her as clean as you can as fast as you can while removing the offending diaper as fast as you can before she grabs it as a second choice. Hayden screams in indignation at being held on his back like a turtle and tries to flip off of it as fast as he can. Let him, and he will pee on the carpet. And if he does, I will kneel in it. Its Murphy's law. Plus, his crap is like warm smelly clay, you gotta use half the box of wipes in order to even have a chance to get it off. He now gets daily baths. He is a stinky, smelly, dirty, all boy kinda kid. Gosh, I love that about him, lol.

I am on a roll with this photography thing. Only, I have few pics to show for it. I have become so picky about what I am willing to photograph, its ridiculous. I need to resume to my happy snappy old ways to a certain extent so I can post and share some pics with you. I hate to use the flash, so if its needed, I just don't bother. Give me a few months and you will be sick to death of seeing pics posted daily.

Gotta run, its way past my bedtime and I have a dinner and shopping date with my dear friend Kelly tomorrow that I am already excited about! Can ya tell I don't get out much? LOL.

Sweet dreams

Kaija xx

If the world didnt have Gramma's

2008-09-29T20:23:00.000-07:00

Seriously. If the world did not have Gramma's, it would be a much lesser place. Gramma's have patience, when Mommy's do not. Gramma's are always there, when mommies need them. And when grand babies need them too. And honestly, I think Gramma's have a sixth sense for when their own babies are desperately needing to be babies themselves again, and figuratively speaking of course, need to curl up into their mommies arms and cry about how the world is not always a perfect place to be in. I love my life, and my children, and my husband and my horses, but when all is not well, I know I can go to my babies Gramma and she will make me feel OK again.

Thanks mom :)

Sweet Saucy Svea

2008-09-18T20:25:00.000-07:00

This child feels with her entire being.

Feels angry, feels mad, feels frustrated, feels sad.

She rages in tantrums that can rattle the calmest of souls.

She loves deeply and gently...Dotes on her baby brother even though she is only two.

Smiles sweetly and says "I love you mommy" perfectly clear amongst the other garble.

I believe she is wise beyond her years.

And I cant begin to tell you how much I love her.

(give me a break, one baby at a time)

Kaija's learning curve

2008-09-12T18:47:00.000-07:00

So I do love to take photos, but being GOOD at taking them, well that's another thing entirely. In the last few days I have been reading about ISO, aperture, shutter speeds, white light balance...and frankly, I am a little overwhelmed. But I didn't buy a dSLR camera to use as a point and shoot model, so I am stubbornly insistent on learning to use the things manual options. I like the creative kinds of photography. The Sears shots just kind of bore me, actually. And to be honest, the last shots I got from Sears I could have done better on my point an shoot camera. Nothing like paying through the nose for some pimply teenager to stand behind a big expensive camera, get you in the viewfinder and press the button.

So forgive me while I swamp my blog with photos. Some good, some bad. Some a lot of both.

I am unwilling to use the auto function on my camera, so most of these photos are taken on either manual, or AV, which chooses the appropriate shutter speed for the aperature you choose.

You can tell me to shut up if you want to, but I wont listen anyways.

The girls have decided that they want no part of my learning. The big black thing I always have in my hands is an annoying intrusion on their play and Olivia mumbles things like "no..no no mumble mumble" while she turns away from me. Svea gets this sly little grin and takes off. Hayden thinks the lens is an intriguing object and therefore, will be the subject of many, many of my photos.

The pic of Olivia is way overexposed. I have no photoshop programs and am currently working on Ben to spend even more money on my newest expensive hobby. Mind you, even photoshop couldn't likely save that particular photo. And poor Svea, her face is one big shadow. Its a learning curve for me, but I think it was the high ISO I had set.

I love the boots. And they wont fit them for long. I spose next year will have to bring a couple of new pairs, wont it?

I don't like flowers..or plants..or trees, or any kinds of shrubbery, OK?!

2008-09-12T18:38:00.000-07:00

Olivia HATES plants. I don't know why, she just doesn't like em. And if I can figure out how to wing a shot of her riding in the wagon strapped to the back of the quad while Ben drives through the trails at camp, I can show you her infamous "duck and cover" which will make you pee your pants. Its that hilarious. Trust me.

Yippy Kaiyiyay!

2008-09-10T10:19:00.000-07:00

I am so very excited! Yesterday I got to order my new Canon EOS 40D. I was warned off the lenses that come with the packages, so I got the camera body and ordered a specific lens (50 mm f1.8) to use until I can afford my coveted 28-70mm f2.8. The Canon models of lenses get the great reviews, but there is a company (Sigma) that makes a copy of this lens for much cheaper. I will dream about this lens until I have it...but until then, the lens I did buy gets great reviews not only online, but from actual real people I have chatted with that love it.

I couldn't bring myself to purchase one of the oh so boring bags available here in Thunder Bay, so I found this bag (Tracy Joy) made SPECIFICALLY for mothers who tote around their little ones and their camera alike. This is actually a camera/diaper bag. The dividers are thick and padded so camera parts wont bump together, but it can also accommodate for some diapers, etc. Seriously? How cool is that. The one I ordered is similar to this one, only chocolate brown rather than black. And I included a picture of what the inside will look like too.

To make life even sweeter, I just got the LAST spot in a 20 hour college offered camera workshop specifically for DSLR cameras. I am currently enjoying a wonderful online course I am taking through Sheye Rosemeyer (Australia) and am hoping to double up on figuring out aperture, iso, shutter speeds and so on and so forth. I cant wait to get some real "bokeh" with my new toy, that is en route as we speak.

So today is a GREAT day and I cant wait for tomorrow :)

Atikokan Show Girls

2008-09-07T13:33:00.000-07:00

Good Girls are just bad girls who don't get caught. Keeping this in mind, and as to not blow our cover, I will give you a condensed and cleaned up version of Lee-Anne and my weekend trail ride/poker derby in Atikokan.

We arrived Friday night to our first ever poker run in Atikokan, Ontario. The grounds were beautiful grass, with a great huge pond (or is it a small lake?), fire pits, a great chalet and some of the friendliest people I have ever met. Fuji blew a shoe the night before and the easy boot/duct tape route was not working, so Jessica loaned us the coolest leather boot and saved the day, as well as Fuji's foot.

We acquainted ourselves with the company around the campfire on Friday night, REALLY got to know each other (some more than others), roasted some smokies, lunged the geldings in this large beautiful sand area that was wonderfully level and perfect for the occasion, and generally had an awesome time. The police made regular checks on the facility to be sure all was well, and some of the rowdies got frisked on the police car.

The weather was a bit shaky on Saturday morning and the set 10:00 departure time was pushed off for those fair weather riders (aka, ME)...so we left a bit closer to noon. The first 20 minutes with the "show" horses was a bit hair raising, as both were wet, cold, and completely unfamiliar with the concept of being bush whacker trail riding, water crossing, hill climbing, cliff dwelling true blue redneck real workin horses.

We had a few hops, leaps, spins, and otherwise scare the hell out of my pansy self's panties moments when the snobby show horses couldn't wrap their delicate sensibilities around the sound of large groups of horses coming up from the rear, but in all fairness, between the gaited horses and the loose rocky, gravelly section we were in, the sound did remind me of a wild herd of horses thundering in from wild yonder. We did survive it though, and were awfully thankful it didn't happen on the very beautiful, but very scary (for me) cliffs with the sheer 1000 foot drop offs. Thankfully, we decided, since horses are rarely suicidal, most wont leap off cliffs even in a moment of panic. But truthfully, we did make it through these sections uneventfully (though I wouldn't let Lee-Anne be the photographer she wanted to be while in these sections). I thought.....the more time we linger, the more chance for umm...difficulty.

For Fuji, this was his first trail ride ever. He was well educated. Turns out he is a great pack horse (he wore his AND Jags..as Jag decided saddle bags were fine EMPTY, but full ones were totally unacceptable..and rightfully so, he IS a show horse (aka pansie), after all.). Fuji did a great job and so did Lee-Anne, who piloted him through a few horse eating rock piles, boogy man water coolers, and monster leg dissolving water sections. He sucked it up like a true trail horse and was ready to say uncle about 10 kms into the 25 km ride.

It took us close to 4 hours to complete this ride at a nice graceful walk. Slow and safe wins the race. In fact, we were SOOOO slow, the other riders dubbed us the "Show girls" due to our super speedy mounts and actually sent someone looking for us, as apparently, there was some concern about what may or may not have happened in the cliff section (I should remind you that these sections do have a fair amount of trees dividing you and the actual drop off...but what I could see THROUGH the trees still made me pee a little). Ha. We were hiding in the last section during this time and arrived back at the camp a few minutes later, safe and sound.

We arrived to a hot meal of homemade chili and buns, pasta salads, burgers and smokies, drinks and desserts, the announcements of the poker winners, and the very cool prize winning. There was a large, beautiful tent set up for eating in, and a warm chalet with hot chocolate for those of us needing some warming up.

I cant say enough how awesome this ride and experience was. The trails were perfectly groomed, marked so well you could have found your way completely drunk (NOT that we would do that....), the people were wonderful, helpful, cheerful and welcoming. The facility was beautiful. The prizes (that absolutely every rider received) were great, the money (that we didn't win) was awesome ($350 for first place), and everyone left with huge smiles on their faces.

Thank you all for a wonderful weekend!

See you next year :)

WAIT, it is the Canon 50 D I want :)

2008-09-05T07:03:00.001-07:00

Aren't they cute?

Olivia lately has been the devil. She has this cry, sounds like a wounded calf, but more irritating like...maybe more like a Siamese cat in heat. Makes you CRAZY. Last few days she has started to use this cry first thing. By 10:00 am, I am hanging precariously on the bottom of my rope hoping to hell that Ben or Mom, or someone, ANYone comes to my rescue. And someone has. Lee-Anne, my sister in law.

We leave this evening to go to Atikokan for the weekend for a trail ride. I can hardly wait.

Hayden is SOOOO close to crawling. He can get up on all fours and rock, but he has yet to discover to move his arms. This is a frustrating situation for him. He makes his way around backward, but this is not pleasing him anymore. He gets his eyes locked on something in front of him and he wants to get to it the fastest route possible. The kid has amazing hand eye coordination, and I am starting to be concerned that when he does get going, he is going to be a true handful.

Svea loves boxes. We bought them a new toy box and she has had a blast with the box. I loved boxes too, so I am thinking its hereditary. I let the girls colour the box with crayons, and have since discovered all kinds of artwork on my walls. Nowaday crayons wash easily, which has been my saving grace, since we all know how much I love cleaning.

I have been delinquent in my blogging for several reasons. Camp, and this photo workshop. So bear with me, I should be back to my regular blogging self in a month or so.

Cheers :)

Photo school

2008-09-04T20:17:00.000-07:00

So, I want to get decent at taking photos. Mom bought me an online photo workshop and this was lesson number one. Telling a story with a picture.

How have my children changed my life? lol. Seems obvious. Truth is, its much more complicated than what can possibly be seen from anywhere besides in my particular pair of shoes.

Who I am, and who I was, and how I think and feel and wish and dream has completely changed. Obviously on so many levels, I am the very same Kaija you all know (and of course, LOVE). But I am not the same. I am forever altered....in a good way.

Anyways, my big dream.......is the Canon D50. So if you are thinking of shopping, please get me one :)

I have been tagged

2008-08-26T16:51:00.000-07:00

by Patrizzia

If you are tagged, you must first post the rules:-Write 7 strange characteristics about yourself. They interest us all!-Tag 6 other people at the end of your Post.-Visit everyone that you have tagged and leave a comment on their blog to let them know that they have been tagged.

I have to just not go visiting other peoples blogs today though, because I am in a mad panic to get laundry done and get back to the lake....ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

But here goes

1. I cant stand the evening sun shining into my house. For some reason it annoys me and I find myself closing my blinds to block it out.

2. I like to be seated on the toilet, poised with my book ready and open to an interesting article before I can....*ahem tmi ahem* "relax" and let nature take its course.

3. I find undergarments to be restricting, abrasive, and unnecessary.

4. I cannot begin to change a child's diaper and then not follow through (even if it turns out the diaper did not need changing).

5. I hate talking on the phone and would rather spend 5 times the time typing it out online instead.

6. It has become a pet peeve of mine to put shoes on Hayden. Therefore, he is almost always, barefoot.

7. I never , ever watch TV. Don't ask me if I saw it. I didn't. Guaranteed.

Candi

Shelley

Liisa

Kaidi

Mom

Mailis

You guys can put it in my comments if you fancy :)

Charming

2008-08-20T18:52:00.000-07:00

Every mother thinks her children are the most perfect, most wonderful, and most beautiful children to have ever graced this earth. I am no different. Only, this last picture of Svea has me questioning my theory at least slightly....since she had just rubbed ice cream and cake vigorously into her hair. Quite vigorously actually. And Svea has learned this new trick about being...charming. She does what she wants, ignores you while you shout out protests and commands and when she can tell she is starting to get you annoyed, she stops, turns toward you a bit and gifts you with one of the most cherubic, angelic and heart warming grins that will have you quivering in her hand like a bowl of jelly. Mission accomplished, since its impossible to stay genuinely annoyed after receiving "the look".

Olivia has her charm too. She giggles. Oh does this one giggle. She does it at night time even, as she encourages her twin to engage in nighttime communication through the wall that separates their cribs. And she practices this giggle in the mirror. She puts her hand over her mouth barely covering the wide toothy beautiful smile. Tilts her head slightly. She already has Ben wrapped snugly around her finger, and she is working on, practicing and perfecting the look she plans to use on me. Punctuated with a giggle. This child, when asked for a kiss, offers you either her cheek or her forehead, like royalty. She is sure that princesses don't kiss on the lips. Not even mine. Svea is not nearly as choosy about kissing. She has plenty to offer and likes to make a smacking sound right on your lips. She has learned however, to settle for Olivia's head in any general area, after several unfulfilled attempts at smooching her on the lips, as Liv is adamant that she will not be violated in this way. Princess princess. No idea where this comes from.

Hayden has also perfected his two toothed goofy little grin that will make you want another baby. I am freaking out about this one growing up. He is doing it so fast already. He is almost crawling. Olivia freaks out because now he can get himself around (mostly backward, mind you he has figured out how to sort of make circles as to get to the toys that appear, initially, to get further away from him the harder he tries to get them, if he circles around, they come back :)). He sleeps 13 hours a night undisturbed. Seriously. I was so freaked out about leaving him alone, I kept him in my room until 2 weeks ago. He is a big boy now. Wants his own space. Either way, I am glad to say he is now a charming, cheerful, beautiful and very busy bouncing baby boy. It seems his awful continual screaming days are a thing of the past. I almost dropped him in the shower the other day! Slippery wiggly little bugger that he is. I was busy soaping myself up with my one free arm and I guess when he became wet in the areas that had previously had been sort of "stuck" to me, he unstuck and fast like. I caught him at knee level. My heart just about burst out of my chest, and he was blissfully unaware that he had ever come close to danger at all. At that point I put him on the floor of the shower so I could finish my own washing without further danger to the innocent child. When I went to pick him up, I realized the reason the bottom of the shower was filling with water was because I had sat him right on the drain. Poor little bugger had little...floppy mushy parts pushing right into that drain. Good thing I lifted him up slowly and gingerly for fear of him slipping again.............

Here she comes la la la lalalalala

2008-08-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

Thought I would share a few more pics. Olivia is our little Diva, in case you haven't noticed. Svea cant wait to wear (or something like that) a bra, Hayden continues to be absolutely heart meltingly adorable, and Ben made it up for the first time on water skis. And one of those embarrassing nakey bum shots I can tease Svea with as she grows up.

Svea is just starting to talk in sentences now. She tells me to "leave door open" as she has recently acquired a fear of the dark. Olivia gets upset any time the baby touches any of the toys, even if she doesn't want to play with him. Hayden cheerfully grabs whatever he can get his grabby little hands on and I am positive I am in for it when this one gets mobile. We had a group bath today. Svea dumps water on Hayden's head and he gets mad. So he kicks Olivia in the back and she becomes enraged. I tell Svea to stop dumping water on his head, and she gets all emotional about hearing no. I gotta say, 3 kids screaming in the tub is like a horrible opera in an amphitheatre. It reaches an Octave I am sure the neighbourhood dogs on the next side road can hear. Only way I could make them stop was to agree to let them dump water on my head. So I sat there with Hayden peeing on my lap, Svea dumping water on my head, and Olivia slapping my face and giggling. It was...great. haha.

I think AF is coming (but I am not going through making all these periods red again, thankyouverymuch). I am horribly emotional and feel like I am at the end of my rope. My mother is enjoying herself in Vegas and Ben is at work, and that truly leaves me completely alone with the three musketeers. I put them to bed at 6:45 tonight. They went straight to sleep. I wonder if it makes me a bad mother if I cant hear them shouting for me in the morning until at least 9 because the air conditioner is running? I spose it would. Either way, I am moody, sensitive, crampy, emotional, overwhelmed and exhausted. So I suspect the nasty old witch is here any day.

Emo Rocked

2008-08-11T17:12:00.000-07:00

The drive to our horse show left little to be desired. Both the girls ate some bad raisins (this is my educated guess) and blew chunks starting about 20 minutes into the trip and lasting almost the entire way. Gravol was used with little success. Diarrhea followed the chunk blowing and my truck smelled (and still does) like the sick section in the pediatric unit. Gross.

The horse show, however, was most excellent. Jag put on his bestest behaviour and I have decided that if he doesn't genuinely love me (refer to earlier post), than I do absolutely and genuinely love him. He was honest and forgiving and we had an amazing show. He did decide that one particular mare at the show was the evil devil from far below (not only did she kick sand onto the steel rails forcefully, making a very scary sound, but she also bucked and hopped about resentfully) and I spent a fair amount of my western classes avoiding her, since he made it clear that she was MUCH scarier than the fact that a big loader was tearing down a nearby barn. Yes, since the Emo fair follows our Quarter Horse show, the fair board decided that ripping an on site barn down during our western pleasure classes was perfectly appropriate. Jag, however, ignored the barn and stared fearfully at the big grey mean mare instead.

Anyways, I had my team (thank you SO MUCH Kathy, Liisa, and Kaidi and Gramma) which definitely contributes to any success I have at these shows. Kaidi and Gramma are the "A" team, whom takes care of the three Amigo's so I can ride and show without three snuglies strapped to my chest while I do it. Liisa and Kathy are the "B" team, whom not only provide me with Beer, but attend to all horsey needs. All I have to do is drink the Beer and ride. I would do a thousand more of these horse shows if it didn't cost a thousand dollars to fill the gas tank and I didn't have a nice cool lake calling my name at the lake, lol.

I will follow with pics once Kaidi the "A" team photographer passes some my way. I know she got some super hot ones and I am excited to see them uploaded.

So, we made it through another show. Last one is likely the Thanksgiving Classic in Brandon. I cant wait :)

Deja Doo Doo

2008-08-11T11:38:00.000-07:00

This Doo doo thing is gonna push me over the edge.

Last week we did away with day time Doo doo usage completely. It was a rough week initially, but we got it done. Then we went out of town for a weekender horse show and the girls regressed. Since my horse finds the sound of screaming babies rather offensive, we opted to give doo doos freely on the weekend. So Monday (today, ugh) marks the first day of being Doo dooless during the daytime since the weekend.

Olivia started the day with approximately 45 minutes of screaming non stop. She eventually got over it and didnt ask for her doo doo again all morning. Well, Svea, upon waking from her nap has begun (yes, present, I am writing right now to avoid other action, as the sound of these two girls pair screaming is currently eating my last nerve and I need some sort of outlet to keep my hands busy and my mind sane) screaming for her doo doo too. This screaming somehow triggered Olivia into regression and they are both frantically screaming for the damn things until their little faces are beet red. Oh yes, and I put Svea for a time out in her room after she threw the yogurt and fresh Saskatoon berries (Daddy had picked and left in fridge for us) at me, and when I went to check on her, she kicked me out of her room and slammed the door. LOL. I thought that was reserved for teenage behaviour. Svea is getting an early start, beginning her door slamming at a mere 26 months.

I do need to throw these things straight into the garbage. For all the difficulty they have caused for me. Unless I choose to join them. Please come over......... I am currently red faced, frantic, and am sucking on a doo doo.....which is truly somehow strangely calming.

Crap.

I need a babyless vacation. Help.

Butterfwy kisses

2008-08-05T20:14:00.000-07:00

The girls say everything I do lately. And well, that's not always such a good thing. But its great fun, because it means you can use them to relay messages. Like..."Daddy is stinky"...and well...other things too. They pick up little parts of sentences and repeat them over and over. They love to dance around in the kitchen in the morning and say "HOT coffee, HOT coffee". Lately I have been teaching them to say "oh nuts"...in replacement for the other word they say...which they also say for umm....fork, and frog. Lesson learned.

Since I forgot my playpen at the lake, Hayden had his very first sleepover in his own bedroom last night. I slept fairly well until 3:00 am when I woke and raced downstairs to watch him sleep comfortably in his own bed...and well...at 5:00 am too. And by 7:30, I was exhausted from straining to hear him from a few floors up. By 8:30 I couldn't take it any longer and went downstairs to check him. He was hanging loose in his crib, happy as a poopy pig (SEE, I am trying to clean up my language). "Poopy pig, poopy pig". I have to be very, very careful what I say out loud...I may hear it all-day-long. But yes, he slept over 12 hours with not a peep and has officially graduated to his own bedroom. I miss him. I thought I would never say it, but I am kind of freaked out about knowing I will never have another little baby sleeping in my room with me again. Unless that 2% chance inflicts itself on me. But we aren't gonna talk about that.

My body is old. I don't remember being sore from fun things like water skiing, or being pulled on a tube. But boy, do I hurt. My boobs hurt...or the muscles do that used to hold them up. My shoulders are in agony. My feet are bruised from the water ski's. I have rode my horsey two days running now, and just add some inner thigh and butt pain to the picture and pretty soon I am gonna need a cane. There is almost no muscles that don't scream in protest when I move. I guess its a good thing that my husband works out of town, cuz I cant take any more kinds of ummm...activity then I already have going on.

Ben says I must have 30 pictures of the girls for every day they have been alive. And I nodded politely knowing that its more like 50...each. Which is why if you see him, you should tell him I need a much bigger, better, and more expensive computer.

Well, its off to Emo for a horse show this weekend. Wish me luck.

random thoughts

2008-07-30T20:35:00.000-07:00

Thinking back to when I was a kid....I realize, that although I didn't have a "perfect" (whatever that is supposed to mean) childhood, it was damn near what I would imagine perfect would mean. We had this beautiful yard living in Garson, and over the years when I pictured what raising my own children would be like, I imagined a big pretty yard, and pink little barbie style tents set up so my little girls would be able to camp out right in our own yard. Funny, a big part of me always knew I would have the little girls I would need to make this a reality. Though I never imagined it would be two little girls of the exact same age and conception date, I feel like its just nature getting me back for being the little scoundrel I most certainly was. Between my sister Liisa, and my cousin Mailis, we sure made double trouble. I can only imagine the treasures these two have in store for me.

Liisa and I hid hamsters from our parents for years before they caught on. On one occasion, we got a little too close to the wire when playing with one of our "secret" hamsters in the living room. On noticing the parents pulling in the driveway, we realized our forbidden pet had crawled into the central vac tube. Shaking that tube frantically did nothing as far as getting him out, so Liisa panicked and decided if we just stuck the tube in the wall for a moment to get the suction going, we could get him closer to the end and grab him before mom and Conrad walked in the door. It worked. Harry the hamster got so close to the end of that tube that he wound up being sucked right into the main canister in the basement. We both choked back our horror when the parents walked in, and proceeded to make like we were wonderful little vacumers. That night, I slept in Liisas bed with her in the basement with horrible images burned into our minds of how that poor hamster met his maker.

Mailis and I were a match made in heaven. If there was trouble, we could find it. I fancy I was the main instigator, but Mailis was very curious, very brave, and had wide blue innocent eyes and a halo of blond hair to hide behind as Maija yelled at us (well, mainly me) for whatever she thought she had caught us doing. She didn't know the half of it. Mailis had brains and I had balls and we knew way more than anyone gave us credit for. I hate that Mailis wasn't part of my wedding party. She should have been wearing a golden dress and I had become so caught up in my own life, that it never occurred to me to ask her. I need to make a trip to Winnipeg and catch up with this woman, we have stories to share, stories to tell, and obviously, many more to make.

Today, I took my brood to the mall with me and bought the girls some fairy costumes. Complete with wings and a wand. I plan to photograph them at camp, but I couldn't resist letting them wear their beautiful new wings right out of the store and through the mall. They made quite a picture, each wearing "butterfry wings" and holding hands as they walked through the mall in matching outfits. All I could hear as I walked through that mall was a series of "awwww!!" "oh look!" and "OMG!" from the other shoppers. The girls were a hit, and of course, I was so proud. They didn't touch a single thing, followed me clear from one side of the mall to the other, and held hands the entire time. Personally, I am excited to see what kind of relationship these girls will have, and to share what kind of trouble they will get into over the years. Liisa and I used to pretend we were twins and get away with it. Now I have a set of my own to enjoy :)

Hayden is turning into the cutest baby ever. He rode right up front in the grocery cart today for the first time. He was so proud. He giggled and chatted almost the entire ride. He smiled at anyone who looked his way and giggled hysterically if I gave him a little tickle. He makes me laugh, and I am so excited to watch him go from baby to toddler to little boy. I have no expectation of what he will be like...he is kind of a mystery to me. I haven't really done boys. But I sure am glad to have the chance to experience parenting one.

And those are my thoughts for today. I should head to bed. Gnitey everyone....

Polly Lake Vintage Playground. Come on out. Its permanent.

2008-07-29T18:01:00.000-07:00

I am not feeling particularly inspired to write tonight. So bear with me while I think of something to say...

Well, I suppose I could share our new Polly Lake Vintage Playground with you. We found this stuff from a fellow cottage owner who's grand babies had outgrown the desire to play on a playground and scooped it up before any neighbours even knew it was for sale. And the kids love it, and so does Ben.

It does needs some prettifying. We cant even decide what all of the animals are on the one piece....we have one that looks like an odd mixture between a cow and a pig, one that looks like a creepy eyeless ghost animal ( I think I may attempt to make it look like a horse...), an ugly dug, and an elephant. The entire unit spins around, and/or you can make it bounce. Its fun for the adults too. Trust me, we tried it and its a blast. Right next to riding the seadoo. Seriously. Either way, the girls scream "horsey" and run for it when they see it. If you ask them if they want down, they quickly shake their heads and say "Nooo". Olivia already has that "duuuuhhhh, as if we would want down" tone it her voice for accentuation. Makes you laugh, so we ask them often.

Hayden loves the family quad rides...either that or he thinks they are very boring. He lasts about 12 minutes in and then passes out. Once he is out, you can do almost anything you want to him, and he aint comin to.

I stayed at camp by myself from Sunday afternoon until Tuesday morning. I had to actually HANDWASH baby clothes. I am posting the pic as proof that I did it. How ladylike of me, dontcha think?

Ok, play my game with me please....

2008-07-25T08:11:00.000-07:00

I can take criticism, and realize some memories of me, might not be the nicest. Sometimes the truth hurts. Hopefully one or two people have a fond memory of me.

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn’t matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It’s actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I’ll assume you’re playing the game and I’ll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don’t want to play on your blog, or if you don’t have a blog, I’ll leave my memory of you in my comments.

So there you go. What do you remember about me (whether in real life or on-line since many people reading this live exclusively in my computer)?

This one is for you, Liisa :)

2008-07-24T20:25:00.000-07:00

This one is totally off topic compared to my usual ranting and raving.

Pet peeves.

I struggle to understand how some horse people can be so utterly...ridiculous.

Have you ever seen the "Black Beauty" or "Black Stallion" movies?

They use every imaginable prop known to mankind. Horses do not fall in love with their human owners. They perceive us as the equine equivalent to "alpha mare, or stallion". Simple as that. No matter how much you want to believe that your horse trusts you or loves you or wants to be your friend, its simply...ridiculous. We, as horse owners, put our horses in the position of needing us to feed them, provide shelter, and meet their every need. Horses, out in the wild, do not need shoeing, 2 feet of shavings, pretty sparkly pink halters, or shaved bridle paths. Nor do they feel thankful that we provide them with these things. Their brain, is the size of a walnut.

I am completely sick of ridiculous people who insist that horses have the human capacity to love, to see humour, and to speak as though they are humans. They have simple needs. Food, water, shelter from the weather, and direction.

Sometimes, we need them. Humans have diverse needs. We want to feel loved, needed, respected, and important. If you want to believe that your horse has those feelings for you, please, feel free. Its true on some levels. Your horse does not LOVE you. He needs you to meet his basic needs and he has learned that in order to not feel discomfort he needs to do a couple of things. He needs to not buck your stupid ass off even if you deserve it. He needs food, so he lets you catch him from the pasture to bring him into the barn and FEED him. He needs to not feel your spurs prodding him from one side, so he moves over. He dislikes the feeling of pressure altogether, so he figures out if he yields to the pressure, you will just leave him the hell alone. He also enjoys when you scratch his itchy spots, so he rewards you with his pricked ears, heart shaped lip, and willingness to stay tied to a silly little lead or chain he could break in one second flat if he felt threatened on any level.

Stop watching those ridiculous movies and realize that if he is whinnying for you, he is hungry, if he follows you, its because he feels he has no other choice, and if he doesn't buck your sorry ass off, its because at some point in his life, he has accepted that you will likely just keep climbing back on until he is too exhausted to bother.

Gawd. I cant even make my point clear enough. My horse does not load onto the trailer because he loves going to horse shows and sweating his rear off because of his undying love for me. He has no other choice because I don't offer him one.

Next time you start to fantasize about drying your tears off on your horses neck while he placidly comforts you due to his love for you, realize that the stinky animal is simply putting up with your blubbering because he is in his happy place and has got a stall full of yummy hay he can tune you out with in front of him.

I do love horses. But reality is reality.

If you want to argue this point, please, I always enjoy a good argument and my comment box is wide open.

My baby boy

2008-07-23T20:07:00.000-07:00

Our little man Hayden has not been an easy baby so far for us. He required bi weekly ultrasounds, weekly blood work, an early delivery, and spent his first 11 days very jaundiced in the NICU. But he has been very worth all of it.

He demands all attention in the room be on him at all times. For his first 4 months, he screamed pretty much all day long. If we wasn't sleeping, eating, or barfing, he was crying. Funny thing is you could always trick the cute little bugger into smiling long enough for a photo, so that people were convinced I just whine a lot. Just ask my mom about him. Between shuddering, she will support my claims.

Last few months have gotten a bit better. He is like a water fountain of baby barf, eternally nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt. The kid can curve barf. If you hold a receiving blanket close to his face, he can arc around the rag and nail you. And if he is particular about it, he can hit you with enough force that it will leak off your now soiled shirt and surely, soil your pants too. I keep cotton candy perfume in my truck as an attempt to mask the smell of baby puke I most certainly have on me.

But I have to give it to him, this kid is cute. He loves his mommy and can contort his body into almost any position in order to get a better look at me (as well as confirm that I am still in the room). He wants to be no more than an arm length away and has no qualms about using a very unpleasant screeching to ensure his world is as he wants it. Other woman can temporarily sedate him, but he really wants to nestle into his own mommies boosum. Suck my neck, yank my necklace, barf in my hair. He is all smiles for his mom. And I truly and genuinely TRY to hate that because it is a huge giant pain in my ass, but how can any woman refuse a male specimen with eyes and lips like that who genuinely has eyes for only herself. So give me some room to whine, but God, I love this kid :)

No.

2008-07-23T07:36:00.000-07:00

The girls have began to use the word NO.

This marks the passage from babyhood to toddler hood like nothing else.

Ben thinks its the most hilarious thing to ask them if they want to "go night night?" and they veryquickly state "No. No night night.". So he asks them that a hundred times a day. And each time they respond he laughs. They take him seriously each and every time.

Last week at camp it was clear that Olivia had a stinky in her diaper. So I asked her if she went ca ca. Her eyes got huge and round and almost double their regular size and she said "no. mmm mmmm.". How do you not laugh? I asked her if she was sure and she just as quickly said "no.". At least she was honest for the second question, lol.

Svea is the bossy sister. You can hear her from the next room, "No Via, NO!". Olivia pretends not to hear her. She bosses Ivan too. He actually listens.

Oh, and yesterday Hayden learned to blow bubbles instead of swallow his food. Of course, they must always learn the blow instead of swallow trick when eating something green. My little brother learned to do it while I fed him green beans, Hayden while I fed him green peas. He carried on this morning to blow his rice cereal all over me. Svea told him "Hayen NO!". He didn't listen.

Oh yes, and before I go to bed, I must introduce the Svea Pam Anderson show..

2008-07-21T20:23:00.000-07:00

I swear, my MOM put these in her shirt. I admit to having a bit of a fantasy of having bigger, nicer, higher, and firmer breasts (just like Della's) but were we not just talking about how unrealistic some fakies can really look?

Svea had her own opinions about it.

WHAT are these?

Oh gawd...embarassing.
Please say no one is loooking.

"Ok, grow up. These
are dis-gus-ting. Ewww
just get-them-out."

"Goodbye Pam boobie
number one.."

"You are some freaky
kinda people."

Out-of-control.

2008-07-21T19:43:00.000-07:00

You know, I wonder sometimes how I can possibly keep my kids safe until they grow up, and how if I manage to do that I will be able to relinquish control of their safety to trust them to take care of themselves when they do.

Today they can reach something they couldn't reach yesterday. Know how I know that? Svea reached wayyyy up high and grabbed a brand new fillet knife off my counter the other day and I didn't know she had it until I heard her banging something around on things and became alarmed at the curious clang she was making. My heart fell into my arse as I frantically flew across the room at her so I could grab the sword she was wielding before the unthinkable happened. Imagine all the things that could have happened? What if she had fell, or poked one of her siblings with it, or what if what if what if?

I am a pretty paranoid mom, after all. I religiously keep my bathroom door closed, day and night. No face cloth in the tub. Door handle cover on the knob. I am scared-to-death of my kids getting in that tub and drowning before I know they are even in there. I consider myself a careful mother....but I am constantly reminded of how out of control some things really can be.

We have these log railings that are a bit too high from the actual stairs and the girls have figured out not only how to crawl under the railing, but also to move the chair I put in front to prevent them from doing it so they can do it anyways and get upstairs. So I generally close all the gates behind me. But this morning my kids disappeared while I was feeding the baby and I could suddenly hear a suspicious giggling closet door slamming partyfest in my bedroom. How odd. The gate was closed, after all.

I guess I am just saying that you can be the worlds most careful parent, and bad things can happen anyway. I am so scared of that. No one told me when I became a mother that I would spend half my time feeling guilty and the other half worrying myself wrinkly. And you know what? I wouldn't have believed them anyways.

Life is so complicated sometimes. Ahhhhh!

I included a few photos of my girls in the super cute bathing suits and hula skirts Della got the girls for their birthday. Its too dang cold for them to swim in them, so for now they are fun dress up outfits and the girls love them. And I love photographing them, so everyone is happy. And check out Hayden, how cute is he? (Svea turned her head for almost every pic...which explains why most of the pics are of her camera happy sister)

My Inspiration

2008-07-19T19:50:00.000-07:00

Why is it that someone in this world has to experience such trauma before they can really know, I mean really and truly absolutely have any true concept of how "lucky" they are?

I keep coming back to this. I had no idea my life could be forever altered by becoming friends with and reading the blogs of woman who's loss and writings have truly touched me, my life, my perceptions, to the bottom-of-my-heart.

Sometimes I am in the middle of reading something particularly touching, particularly heartbreaking and I have to just close my computer and gather up what means the most to me and just hold them as close to me as a mother possibly can. Somehow life has taken on a bit of a different meaning to me. How lucky am I?

I am the luckiest woman alive.

I have goals and dreams and people in my world who will support me until they are met.

I have a husband I can rely on, respect, trust, and who I love from the very bottom of my heart.

I have three perfectly healthy, happy, beautiful and smart children who remind me every day of what beauty and love is really all about.

I have an outlet that calms my soul and is filled with friends who get that. Who make it what it is. Who make it why I love it so much.

I have some material things too....but nice as they are, they truly would be nothing without the things I listed above.

Just to mix things up...a sappy post to follow a silly one :)

(btw, there is no symbolic significance to what order these pics are in...I still cant figure out how to reorder them once they are loaded)

Bar hoppin momma

2008-07-19T08:15:00.000-07:00

I am going to have to blame this on one Christine. She MADE me do it.

She took me on a girls night out. I innocently ordered and drank way more than I should of due to continual and relentless peer pressure.

My usual beauty routine consists of grabbing any nearby outfit and putting my air dried mass into a messy ponytail, and taking about 12 seconds to smear some crap on my face with a touch of mascara. But to go on a girls night out when unpracticed at attempting to look "hot", well, that takes a bit more time. But I did it. I managed to find one of those outfits in my closet of mom clothes that not only makes you look tall and skinny, but also makes you feel like a "hottie". Compliments of a bunch of hair extensions my husband would faint over if he knew how much I paid for them, and I was ready to be a bar barbie.

Like I said, all credit is due to Christine, who totally forced me to grab her ex boyfriends butt each time he would walk by. Christine forced me to tell all his friends that no man (one claimed he could, that's how it started) last longer than 15 minutes. IF I remember correctly, I clarified that intercourse timing does NOT start with foreplay and end with cuddling. I am talking about the actual..you know. Anyways, a man on booze will NOT admit to ever shooting his gun before at least an hour has gone by and I flat out told the men (the table was becoming oddly crowded with them) that they were full-of-shit. Thankfully, my wedding rings have created a large white indent on my otherwise tanned hands, so no one has to worry about what I said about my marital status. They all knew I was married. Oh yah, they knew. But I must say, most of them just frankly, don't give a damn. I say this all the time and truly believe in its wisdom..."flattery is flattery" , after all.

One kind Italian guy who was celebrating his most recent sons arrival frankly admitted (was that his name? LOL) that I was speaking the truth, and a truly "happy" guy does not take longer than 15 minutes to shoot his gun. Ha. I win.

I won until the day after. I got up at Christine's, forced back on the outfit that now seemed too tight and awfully uncomfortable and drove my sorry arse home. Turns out the motion created some motion sickness that lasted ALL DAMN DAY. My mom watched the kids so I could be pressured into the drinking and was now off duty. I resorted to carrying around a popcorn bucket to barf in each and every time I was forced to move. Granted, the kids gave me a great day, Olivia imitated my barfing and slapped my back (what support) and Svea gently rubbed my back and offered me kisses. Her breath....OMG...made me nauseous, but I already felt guilty enough being a total dead beat mom, so I had to kiss her back, but it is the thought that counts. Even Hayden was a champion yesterday.

Anyways, I survived my night out with the girls. I had a great time. I payed for it completely, and today is a new day.

So yah, thanks Christine (and Tara...so far I have left her out of this, but she is not nearly as innocent as she looks) for a good time and even better hangover.

Until next time....

A few more pics from Polly Lake

2008-07-19T06:19:00.000-07:00

Potty talk

2008-07-17T08:47:00.000-07:00

Gramma bought the girls a potty each yesterday. These ones are super cool because if you manage to get something in the potty, it sings you a lovely tune, a "reward", the box says. I didn't install that particular feature yet, as I thought it would be good just to let the girls see the potties, touch them, play with them, basically familiarize themselves with them. I have talked about potties with them a bit, and they happily sat on their potties fully clothed and had some mommy daughter potty talk while I did my own business on the big girl potty (tmi.).

Anyways, sometimes, if we all need it, I find its easiest to just have a family bath. I get all the kids undressed, then myself, and we all climb in together. Turns out as I started to strip Hayden down that he was FINALLY successful in his mission to have a decent poop and I needed wipes. So I grabbed the wipes from his room next to the bathroom. Came back and one of the girls had pooped on the floor. So I cheerfully picked it up and put it in the potty and let the girls watch me flush it down.

Anyways, after the bath the girls wanted to play on their potties before I managed to dress them. Fine, play away, after all, this is all about getting comfortable with using the potties, right? I dress baby while the girls play and as I come out of Hayden's room with him in my arms I notice both the girls laying belly down on the tile floor licking some sort of fluid on the floor. Hmmmm.....wanna take a guess at what that certain fluid was? Yah...pee. I scoop the girls up and try to use words appropriate to a toddler to explain why it was not ok to drink pee...but they were so excited about the pee that they listened while spreading it around the floor with their hands. At this point I realize I really need to get the offending pee off the floor and run for a towel...the toddler talk apparently was not helping, at-all. As I run to get the towel, I hear a loud thump and the offended Octave Olivia shriek. Olivia now had slipped in the pee and was laying on her back in it, screaming her head off. This kid now has pee on the front from drinking it, on her arms and hands from playing with it, and on her back from laying in it.

Back to the tub. Straight to bed. I am exhausted. Thanks for listening.

Before I lay me down to sleep

2008-07-16T21:08:00.000-07:00

I pray the lord my soul to keep.

Today was a trying day. Hayden screetched his little lungs out for the entire car ride to Old Navy and for at least half the time I was in there trying to buy him some sweaters (due to the cold nothern summer we are experiencing). People were shooting me those sympathetic looks and taking them back as I strolled by grumbling about my baby for sale...eventually he might UNDERSTAND when I threaten to take him to CAS, but right now he DOES NOT. So shuttup. I am a single parent to three kids two and under...gimme a break. I sometimes have to hold my pee till my body takes it back, eat once my body is turning salmon pink from starvation and shower while my kids point out my body parts with a cool breeze blowing on my...forget it. Its that silly tmi thing again. You get-my-point.

Supper time entailed Svea having a complete and total meltdown because my water glass was too tall. Yah, she couldnt reach the straw. The waitress was a pretty blond idiot and the meal sucked and she practically outwardly grimaced at my request for a shorter glass so Svea the Screamer would zip it and be able to drink out of a shorter cup.

The threshold between the mall hallway and the Childrens Place proved to be too much for the girls to handle and when the high pitched whining started to crack the glass, Grandma the Great rescued mommy and took the girls pinwheel shopping so I could find some much needed clothes for the screaming baby I happily left at Christines house who so gallantly offered to save his life by taking him off my hands. Figuratively speaking of course....the baby is the light of my life, but is completly and totally OBSESSED with me and cant handle me being out of his reach for longer than half of a second.

Grandma got the girls a potty today. One each. She spoils them and I am happy for it. Now, when they point out my body parts and talk about the potty while I pee, I can return the favour. I guess I better go get some pull ups. These potties SING when you pee in them. I am tempted to start using them myself. Only if someone else would clean them out though (Grandma??)

I should go to bed. Della told me why we use the term "I have to pee like a racehorse" but I dont remember already...LOL. Can you please remind me? Cuz I need to right now.

Gnitey everyone. Tommorow is a newwww day.

I love my kids AND my tied tubes :)

By golly, its Polly under all that RAIN

2008-07-15T19:58:00.000-07:00

We just came home from a week at our pretty new camp. We love it. Love it love it. The kids love it too. Unfortunately, this year it just rains, rains, rains and rains. So we are making the very best of the sunny (and not so sunny) moments as best we can.

This weekend we had a crew out. It was super fun playing trailer park boys. We balanced a rye and coke in one hand, the kids in the other, battled gusting awning rip off worthy winds, ignored the cats and dogs falling out of the sky and just had a blast, despite mother nature (whom I am pretty sure, has a real bad AF so far this summer. Period. Why complain? There were sunny moments, after all.

Summer always brings with it, some nostalgia...and I found myself remembering my cousin Mailis and I enjoying whatever weather was thrown at us at camp. Whats a little rain when you are playing in the water anyways right? The kids at our cottage this weekend had just that attitude. What weather? Straight from the Sauna to the lake. Like a little rain should even put a cloud over their sunny little world of rainbows and candy. I miss that. The difference was that those kids had on some clothes...I don't think Mailis and I bothered with those too much. After all, we do have some Finn blood coursing through our veins. Speaking of which, I showed off my heritage as Ben gasped and laughed out loud when I threw caution to the wind, ignored the fact that we are sadly short on tree coverage on one side of our property, and did the real Finn Sauna lake run. I was super modest about it though. I ran WITH a towel on from sauna to lake, dropped the offending towel and ran on in, jiggly butt bared to all who happened to be watching and had my skinny dip. The frontal view was likely more shocking than the rear view, being that the front bears the oranges in socks, world map, and newly acquired summer time beer belly. But you know what? Suck it up buttercup. Its my camp and I will swim naked if I want to.

On a different note, Ben and I got the super best deal on some old playground equipment that we plan to pick up in a few weeks and set up at camp. The good old stuff. Like the kind we all used to play on as kids. Cant wait to get it!

Mission Accomplished

2008-07-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

The Vagina Monologue convo with Val (she's so bad)

oops same one

Liisa showing Jag in showmanship

Mom and I negotiated to make the Dryden QH Show about having fun. And we did. My darling sister arrived with Kaidi, Kathy, and Migwin and I felt like Dale Earnhardt Jr. with his entire pit crew.

We decided that the Jag actually performs BETTER if I just never bother to ride him with the exception of the week before the show. Or it could have been sheer exhaustion. He was for the most part, a very good boy. We won some ribbons and he outperformed himself, proving his ability to cross over from Mr. English since I am so tall to Mr. Western since I can move my legs so slow.

The kids were AMAZING. We brought an outdoor carpet along and it was almost as effective as electric fence (NOT that we have tried that) for keeping the kids inside its boundaries. The girls gleefully shouted HORSEY and whinnied, and Hayden sat in his excersaucer (drooling in only his diaper...) with a smile on his now TWO toothed little grin!

Val and I discussed the Vagina Monologues in great detail, we covered hedgehogs and undergarments, blisters and remedies, drank beer and just generally hung it all out. I mean for me, I genuinely mean, allll out. I think Melanie's dad was afraid to walk to her trailer as walking by mine was like some kind of strip show from Vegas with all the sequins, rhinestones, and leather flashing on over there (and supposedly, the umm...undergarment thing may have been at least slightly shocking as well). If so, ummm....seriously sorry over here. snort snort giggle giggle.

I am entirely exhausted. I had a great weekend. We won a couple of western pleasure classes, and took home some points in showmanship and hunter under saddle as well. I got no blisters, hangovers, or black eyes. Someone STOLE every dang thing I had in the barns when we went for dinner including my freaken wheelbarrow (who seriously steals wheelbarrows??).....without that little problem, it was a wonderful weekend.

Thanks guys :)

See you in Emo

Kaija's theory.

2008-07-02T20:23:00.001-07:00

Men can be soooo dumb.

Horse people can be soooo stubborn. You can lead a horse to water, but you cant make him drink. The trick is in learning to convince him that he WANTS a drink, backing off, and then telling him what a good boy he is when he tells you he is thirsty. Then he rolls his eyes around, bats his eyelashes, cuddles up to you, states his undying love for you, and gives you what you wanted to start with.

Ha. Mission accomplished.

I am off to Dryden to show my horse for the weekend. Sans the husband. See you when I get back :)

What was I thinking?

2008-07-02T07:20:00.000-07:00

I dunno. I like to refuse to let the world slow me down and to have at least a slight tendency to laugh in the face of adversity. Or it laughs at me. Probably a bit of both. I mean really, I have barely swung my leg over that beasts back over the last month and a half, just returned from a fly in fishing "Call of the wild" style trip, and have three little charges creating havoc in my home. Why wouldn't I decide to pack not only those three little angels, but also two horses into my new(er) 3 horse slant load weekender package edition trailer and head out of town for a horse show with no man to save me if I get a flat or...whatever...? We decided that although its great that the new horse trailer has a bed and a microwave, we simply don't feel ready to grin and bear the effects of an entire weekend of camping out in cramped quarters with three kids, so we are staying at a Best Western with a pool. There is a light at the end of the tunnel (Thanks, Val).

So you should see the trailer. Don't open the door I tell ya. Its packed with enough gear to take the Adams family on a week long cruise in the Caribbean (I think I am distantly related...can I come too?). And you know what? Two days aint enough time to get it done. I have the support of wonderful friends and family and I couldn't do these things without that help. Thank you Della for taking a layer off of Jag for me, Mom for being these kids backup mom, and Don for getting rid of the two week high pile of nasty stinky garbage from my garage. And thank you to Shelley, btw, for watching the rug rats so we could do that Call of the Wild vacation too!

Every once in awhile these kids take pity on me. I think last night was one of those nights. They all slept in until 9:00 this morning! Yay. I needed the sleep and finally got a good one last night.

I got so much done yesterday. All I gotta do today is pack all my normal clothes, the kids clothes, diapers, baby food, hats, sunblock, the rest of my horsey laundry, iron my English blouses, ride my horses, clip Fuji's back legs, tidy up the house, do several loads of laundry, squeeze in a shower, wash the truck and hook up the trailer. No problem. I got twice that done yesterday. Next weekend I am at camp with a beer in my hand, no Crown Royal or horses anywhere to be seen and I plan to spend the entire time in my bathing suit. If you want a piece of me, too bad. I am handing the kids over to my husband and playing dead beat mom for at least the entire weekend. Ha. I wish. But after 8 the world is mine. I love those mints and now I know why :)

See you in Dryden

2008-06-30T17:55:00.000-07:00

So, I got my new show jacket just before I left for my trip. It was intended, originally, to be a new showmanship jacket, but apparently my estimation for length, was out. LOL. A fair amount. That's what happens when you let an amateur attempt at getting her own measurements right. So, being that I already HAVE a new showmanship jacket, this new one is going to be my new rail jacket. And honestly, I personally thought it was a bit dumb we were even having another showmanship jacket made given my true desire to really drag this particular horse into a showmanship class in our current.....lets say....situation. I have nothing to RIDE him in, since it has been about 6 years since I have really shown in western...we haven't exactly been shopping for clothes for it. So, all things considered, it was a error with a good ending. I love the jacket. It is wonderfully made with amazing attention to detail. The embroidery is beautiful. Each crystal is sewn on. The lambskin is butter soft. The poly wool blend is gorgeous. She has it lined with a snow white beautiful fabric. (She would be Sar, the new designer that made the jacket for me. Her work can be seen at www.sarcouture.com). I think I put a bit of weight on since measuring and the arms are slightly tight, though, I think without the liner I would have a bit more room.

(note that I am wearing navy pants in this photo as my new black ones are on route).

So anyways, here it is ladies and gentleman. For some strange reason I am actually planning to show my horse in Dryden, ON this Friday-Sunday. I have rode him umm....3 times in the last month. He was a bit of a head case this evening. I figure I can announce to the world that with these kids I barely have a chance to ride, and everyone will understand if he is not (and surely will not) be perfect this weekend. I can be sure to get the sympathy of everyone...except the judge. So if you see me frantic, frustrated, sad, or just plain confused, please...take pity, offer me a beer, a tranquilizer, or simply take a baby off my hands. All three will be there...you have plenty to choose from.

See you in Dryden!

Operation Outpost

2008-06-30T11:36:00.000-07:00

We made it!

After dragging my sorry butt out of bed at the ungodly hour of 3:30 AM on Sat. morning, Ben and I arrived in Armstrong at 7:30 AM ready for our flight scheduled to leave at 10:00 AM. Don't ask me why they need us there 2 1/2 hours early, but we don't do late...so we were there with our bells on and very patiently waited...and waited....and waited and waited some more. The "ceiling" was low and it was absolutely pouring out there. We waited until about 6:30 pm for that flight and were lucky enough to have met some very interesting American fellows, who were waiting to fly about an hour north for a more remote fly in trip even, than ours. Turns out American folk patiently wait, just add booze. One of those fine gentleman broke out a case of Blue, and when we were done that, opened up his $45 bottle of Crown Royal. Turns out this particular type of Crown Royal goes down bored wives dying to get fishing very very very smoothly. By the time I boarded our Beaver, I was feeling completely relaxed, and totally willing to board an airplane with visible duct tape and patched pontoons that was made in ummm....1959. I was clear enough headed to make sure I knew where the door handles were and how they opened. And we were off....

We caught a few fish that first night, but only had a few hours on the lake and it was getting dark.

Fast forward to the next morning. Turns out Crown Royal goes down real smooth....and comes up like road rage. After my stomach expelled both my fruit loops and the bit of coffee I managed to make and pour between moaning and digging desperately for Advil, I boarded the boat Ben sat in glaring at me with that particular look he gets on his face when he disapproves of his wife's behaviour. I made it through that morning by the skin of my teeth, forced my eyes open when they were rolling back desperately trying to return to the blessed state of slumber they really wanted to still be in. By afternoon, I still wasn't real interested in my beloved beer, but I was game on for fishing and we portaged through a narrow trail (that actually initially more resembled a creek) for about a km, and made it into Boulder Lake (the name speaks for itself). We smoked em out of that lake like they were going out of style. Once the fuel started to get low in the boat (we had to portage the motor with us, and the only fuel we had was in it) I started to get a bit ansy to get back. Ben promised me left right and centre that it had plenty of fuel in it to make it back to the portage point, but alas, we were about 200 feet from short (forgot our paddles in other lake) when it stalled. Turns out if you rock the boat hard enough you can get some fuel to splash into the carb and narrowly, we made it back to shore. I am scared half to death of bears and refused to carry anything that resembled fish through that trail and practically had to run to keep up with Ben's long legs, but we made it back with big huge smiles on both of our faces. No big ones, but lots of eaters and action to spark both of us up.

As our kind of luck would have it, the water pump at the camp bit the bullet and we were forced into washing in the very fresh lake. And hauling water for dishes from the lake to the cottage. The swim was actually really fun, and really refreshing, but I was somewhat ansy at the number of bloodsuckers I could see hungrily swimming around the dock.

I had spent a fair amount of my liquored up state trying to convince Brenda (the lady who runs the B&B we hung out in waiting for our plane to be able to take off from) to push off our return flight on Monday a bit later (originally scheduled for 10:00 AM), but found when we checked in with them this morning that they actually bumped us forward until 9:15 AM...pppphhhhht to Brenda! I guess they had to bring our plane to Winnipeg for some maintenance.

The flights were totally uneventful. The view is beautiful. Our pilot was amazing and the landings were completely smooth and perfect. Turns out some Americans who rented a 1.5 million dollar float plane to do their own fly in fishing trip crashed their plane on Sunday morning. Of course, I discovered this as we flew over the plane while it was floating pontoon side up in the lake. Thankfully, they were able to get out and no one was hurt. Apparently one of the pontoons was full of water and it put them off balance as they landed, flipped, and began to sink. We were about 1 minute from our landing when I saw the plane and heard the story. I simply tightened my seat belt and prayed. LOL.

We loved it. It was short but sweet, and I think it may become an annual event. (minus the Crown Royal...which by the way, will never ever get near my lips ever ever again. Ever.)

Well, wish us luck...

2008-06-27T18:35:00.000-07:00

We leave at 4:00 am tommorow morning to drive to Armstrong, where we will fly out from. The area we are going to is 4.5 million acres of provincial parkland accessable only by plane or train. Or canoe, if you like that sort of thing. The lake (and all the portage lakes surrounding the area with extra boats and motors stashed in them) will be all ours.

And it plans to rain for our entire stay. So we are equipped with several rainsuits, and beer.

Our plan is to eat primarily fish to keep us properly nourished.

My plan is to wake Ben during night time pee breaks, as I dont do that kind of wilderness with my pants off while in solitude. If he argues, thats fine. I will simply shimmy up to him, pee, and move back to my own side of the bed. I do have this thing about bears...

Anyways, we are off. See you when we return.

Pray about the safe landing too, as I do have this issue with floatplanes....

Boys and their Balls

2008-06-27T11:11:00.000-07:00

Just like a man, he feels most comfortable surrounded in balls. Blue balls. Tasty balls.

yah.

Family traits

2008-06-27T09:02:00.000-07:00

Svea has this..."thing" about farting. If someone farts, she announces it matter of fact like. "Fot". And she looks at the offender with a certain twinkle in her eye. Ben got home early this morning. We are all hangin in the kitchen when I *ahem* pass a little gas. She looks right at Ben and says "Daddy.". LOL. A few minutes later, same thing, same response. She KNOWS already, that its ALWAYS the mans fault. This one is going to do me proud.

Any mom of toddlers has accepted that you no longer get privacy no matter what the reason. If I need to use the ladies room, I don't get the luxury of a closed bathroom door. What goes on behind them is much scarier than my kids seeing me doing my business. But I sure miss being able to sit down on the toilet without a toddler trying to peek between my legs to see whats going on in there. They are so OBVIOUS about it. Duck right down and stare open mouthed like. Or showering without a cool breeze because they insist in opening the shower door so they can watch me wash. I am now expected to do a play by play.."mommy is washing her hair! Ooohhh, now I am rinsing rinsing rinsing it all out. Time for shaving! In the armpits..." you get the picture. when I get out, they tell me about my body. They show me my bum, my boobies, my legs, my belly, its button, I try to dry off real quick like so I can cover up, but now the girls want the responsibility of drying me off. So I have to stand there shivering while they dry me from thigh down. And Svea gets pretty insulted if you go over what she has already done, so I try to be discreet about that.

Anyways, my new show jacket arrived and is at my moms office. Ben ran to town to get the booze for our trip this weekend (and a few other unimportant in comparison items like milk and water). I cant wait to see my new jacket and sure hope the 5 lbs I have put on from my beverage of choice while at camp does not cause any lumpiness or stretching. Thank goodness for spanx.

All the kids are asleep. I better grab a shower now unless I want an audience.

I Have Noodles in My Nostrils

2008-06-26T19:04:00.000-07:00

I have noodles in my nostrils.
I have noodles on my nose.
There are noodles on my cheeks and chin
and dripping down my clothes.
I've got more upon my forehead.
Some are sticking to my neck.
It's completely disconcerting.
I'm a noodle-covered wreck.
I can see them on my kneecaps,
and I know they're in my shoes.
(When I stand they're somewhat squishy
and I feel them start to ooze.)
There are several in my pockets.
There's a handful in my hair.
And I'm pretty sure that some are even
in my underwear.
So try not to do what I did
(I'm a total nincompoop),
and don't ever fall asleep
while eating chicken noodle soup.
--Kenn Nesbitt

How cute is this poem? I love it.

A few photos of my gals

2008-06-26T18:28:00.000-07:00

Hayden and his stinky sisters.

2008-06-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

Hayden rolled over on Tuesday night for the first time. He discovered this new trick at 4:12 am and trying to get him to stay on his belly (yes, he is a tummy sleeper) after this was like trying to hold a weeble down....as soon as you let it go, it flips right back. And that is what he did. We played the weeble game last night too, only at 3:30 am. Right after our 1:50 am wake up call from Olivia (who lost her boken doo doo) and our 2:45 am wake up call from both the girls who were standing in their cribs in deep conversation with one another.

Hayden gets this certain look on his face when he is pooping. And if you don't catch that, you will notice his grunting (you can hear Ben make the exact same pooping noise if you are anywhere near the washroom while he is making one). I am sharing, because Hayden is making one right now. And guess what? The girls are napping and the wipes are in Olivia's room.

Speaking of stinkies, I am a bad mom. I hold my nose and go "Eeeewwwwy, STINKY!" when I change the girls stinkies. Then I talk about how pretty soon, we are gonna start going caca in the potty. Now every time the girls notice me changing a stinky diaper, they very clearly state "Ewwwwwwy! StINkY!". Its hilarious and I laugh and it encourages them.

Just to be a bit of a tease

2008-06-25T20:36:00.001-07:00

My show jacket.

Because this shot makes me laugh my butt off

2008-06-25T20:09:00.001-07:00

I told you to sit down. Scary up there aint it?

Dont push it when she is here.

2008-06-25T18:30:00.000-07:00

I have no idea who, if anyone, reads my blog. But I am gonna go a little TMI here. I have the WORST cramps. How is it that I can get SO emotional on the days leading up to that nasty Aunt Flo and not clue in? How is it that BEN doesn't clue in? He calls me crazy. He might be right. But he experiences me completely different than I experience myself and I figure its HIS JOB to clue me in that she is obviously well on her way. Because I have to be honest here, I have three babies. I have no freaken brain. I need to buy shares in the post it notes company, because I practically need those things to remember when to go to the bathroom lately. Though, Aunt Flo has her own nasty little ways of reminding you without the need for any little yellow stickies. Either way, I feel like I could possibly bleed-to-death. Ooops. That tmi thing again. Sorry guys. I *ahem* got my tubes tied after Hayden and nothing has been the same since. Well, not only because of the tube tying I suppose. I mean, that has nothing to do with the fact that my boobs deflated. Like...you know when you have a party and you use the regular old latex balloons full of helium and they eventually start to shrink? Well, boobs do that too. And mine did. Oh yah, if I don't pay good money for a premium bra, the dang thing rides half way up and I get four boobs. Double. Just like the twins I guess. And I don't think tying my tubes has anything to do with the little world map I have going on on my lumpy tummy either. Or wait....the cellulite I am starting to notice creeping up on my thighs..or even better, the sag butt. OK, I am still pretty ok with my butt....BUT (heheh...how ironic) it IS starting to sag in the centre compared to the way it used to. Nothing is really in the right place anymore. None of that is my tubes. Nope. Its these dang kids. Why is it that the man gets off totally scott free (another LOL for those who know why that's ironic too) in that department? I mean, here are us moms, bagging out our bodies to give our husbands beautiful children, and we stress over how we look naked because we want to look good for THEM. But, who has the bigger gut out of me and Ben? Well its him, obviously. And his is (put on my best manly voice, not that hard for me though) "Bought and paid for". WHY is that so funny? Whatever. Men are from Uranus, Woman from Mars. That's my line and I am sticking to it. (making all those periods red, was really, really annoying. Period.)

I rode my horse tonight. He is a guy. Like a guys guy guy. He looks for ways to get out of work, fusses if you fart on him, and rides real well as long as he thinks its his own idea. He pees all over the place, gets a bit shy about doing it while you are looking at him, expects you to provide him with hand served meals and beverages, and whines about getting new shoes. Any woman would be in her glory to get new shoes every 5 weeks. If he doesn't feel well, he fusses about that too. He fakes a cough occasionally too, mostly to sort of make a point. Like when Ben says he is sick, he coughs immediately after. Its like...punctuation.

I got me my fishing licence today. Forecast for our fly in trip. Rain. Rain rain and more rain. Good thing I bought a rain jacket and overalls.

I better go Google landing a float plane during rain. That way I can ensure I will get a good sleep tonight.

Sex in the float plane

2008-06-24T19:44:00.000-07:00

I just came back from The Sex in the City movie. I never watched it on tv, but I quite enjoyed it in the theatre. I am so terrible with names...but who cares, I just really connected with the lady who loved umm...coloring. She was awesome. And I must say that I am pretty sure Ben and I dont stay in the lines either. Did I just say that? Ok, yah maybe we do. See, now you are no more educated on my personal life than when we started. The movie was good even for person who was not a fan of the show. Sarah Jessica Parker is THAT good. I even wanted to bawl a couple of times (though that is becoming easier and easier to do, as of late).

So, I was chatting with a friend on facebook the other day who has been on fly in fishing trips, and therefore, float planes and asked her how the landing feels. She didn't respond until later in the day. Being the freaky gal I am, I googled it.

Most plane crashes in float planes happen on the landing (or, lets say, attempted landing). They hit the water too hard, bounce, flip and sink. The doors on float planes, as it turns out, are notoriously difficult to open from the inside once sinking in water. So, if you are a survivor at this point, there is a great likely hood of expiring when you drown with the sinking plane.

Then Jen responded

"The small planes are a little sketchy but the view is one of a kind....you might shit ur pants on the landing.....depends on the pilot LOL"

Um...yah.

So I was exhausted at bedtime last night. In fact, I don't think my head even brushed my pillow and I was already out. But I did wake with a start at 5:00 am when this comment suddenly ran through my head like a little lightening strike banner.

Why am I so paranoid?

Its the kids. I swear it. The late Dr. Holloway told me while listening to the twins heartbeats on the Doppler (which he said reminded him of ponies galloping, I always thought that was such a cute comment) that I "will never be the same again". He was referring to how my life would change because of those ponies. I mean kids. And he was right. He pissed me off, Dr. Holloway, but all the way until I had my Cholestasis, I loved him. And if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have my girls. So, thank you, Dr. Holloway, you changed my life and I am very thankful.

Hayden slept like a charm last night. He was held and cuddled all day and barely made a peep. The girls were champs today and I got out not once, but TWICE without them for a few hours.

I got most of my shopping done for our trip. Didn't take much. Some spices and potatoes. Soap and shampoo. Bug dope. Tranquilizers.

Strange kids.

2008-06-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

I do find this online journalling (as I like to think of it) as strangely therapeutic. It seems funny on here. It didn't feel funny today. But at the end of the day, I look at my children, and they are, really....funny.

Svea is so proud to have her brother in her princess doll stroller. She wont figure out it wont move until a bit later (I had my foot on it, no way am I letting the speed demon with the nasty streak push my son around on ceramic tile in a princess stroller).

Hayden finds this to be particularly embarrassing. Notice the "are you serious?" expression on his face.

Svea is confused. Why wont this thing move? There has GOT to be a reason. I have some blurred shots of her frantically trying to shake the stroller loose from my toe grip. But I didn't share them just because I am feeling a bit obstinate.

Notice the girls have no shirts on. I recently made comment that my kids *NEVER* strip. I stand corrected. It started today. Hayden is the exception. He didn't undress himself, but he barfs with such great regularity that I am starting to wonder if maybe I should just leave him naked. Its easier to clean him up after all.

My Resignation. I may pull it tommorow..but its good enough for today.

2008-06-23T19:40:00.000-07:00

My Resignation
Author Unknown

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.

I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilitiesof an 8 year-old.

I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mudpuddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.I want to return to a time when life was simple; When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So... here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause.............."Tag! You're it."

Our jungle of tears

2008-06-23T12:48:00.000-07:00

Told you it was the Amazon Jungle here.

Today has been a cry day. The kids have cried almost all day. Sometimes all as one, or individually, or...dually. No matter how you put it, crying children make you feel one of two things. Heartbroken or irritated. Today, well, I felt more irritation. We are all tired from camp and the tears went hand in hand with temper. Svea shed a few real ones when she received a swat for belting her brother in the head during one of them. Short lived, as I heard her giggling with Olivia when she wasn't even done serving her crib time yet. When Svea gets hysterical, Olivia cries sympathy tears for her. And when both girls cry, they squeal, and it hurts Hayden's ears, so he cries too. And then sometimes, I cry too. And then Ben calls, and decides to pretend his machine broke down so he can stay a bit longer in the bush to "fix" it.

Cabin fever?

2008-06-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

We made it to the lake two weekends in a row. I cant tell you how I love going to the lake. 4 days at home, 3 at the lake, impossible for life to get boring, and the kids LOVE it. I forgot my camera and would have stoned myself for it, only I dont like pain. But really, it was very frustrating. The girls got a new swingset with a slide. We replaced the swings with toddler ones and only wish we had gotten a set with room for 3 swings, because Hayden, as it turns out loves the bigger cooler outdoor version of a swing (even if he does scream in indignation and resentment if you put him in one of those very cool infant ones I have in my home)...... well, if I interpreted the squealing and giggling correctly, that is. Dang, I wish I had brought a camera along. They sure loved the water. This weekend the kids only stood in it with me, kicking and splashing and touching the sand with their little hands. We talked about the ducks on the water (Svea shouted "Duck Water!! Duck Water!! and pointed all weekend), we watched a beautiful storm from the kitchen window, went on family quad rides (at 11 kms/hour, dont worry), and of course, enjoyed the sauna.

Ben cried over the tip of his fishing rod I broke trying to free my purse (he did fail to mention there was a fishing rod crammed under the back seat of my truck). We did some more conversing and planning for our trip coming up. We decided to bring a small amount of drinking water and some potatoes as well as our beer and sleeping bags.

Oh yes, and Hayden completely wrecked Andrews Birthday party when he cried for nearly 3 hours straight. Eventually I gave up and packed up my brood to allow the rest of the party to enjoy some silence and birthday cake. At this moment, he is alseep. Was it the tylenol or the ambien? Your guess.

hint

(they dont give ambien quite so freely here in Canada)

:P

Margerita Mommas

2008-06-19T14:30:00.000-07:00

I think its important for woman to have girlfriends. Even if you are married to the perfect man (ok, we all know he doesnt exist), you need a girl to truly understand mommyhood and its layers. So my girlfriend Christine and I take the occasional "Margerita Mommy" night. Wait till the kids pass out, pretend we never have heard of a thing called calories, and well, drink. Of course, like any other responsible mommy would, we only drink enough to get the warm and fuzzies (we do afterall, have to wake to our children), but we eat and we laugh and we talk smack (LOL) and watch movies. Chick flicks. Horrors. Whatever...since we usually forget to actually watch. But its great, and I had one last night, so I thought I would share.

We have had so much rain here, the grass is a mile long and saturated. Our lawn looks like the amazon jungle and Ben is paranoid to let me operate his lawn tractor for fear that I will find the rock garden out there and I dunno, eat his blades or something. Being that he only has the weekends off and we are proud cottage owners, our grass will apparently be knee length by the time it is cut. If the neighbours wine, too freaken bad (sorry mom). Ha. My mom is our only neighbour. We are bad neighbours actually. Our black lab (Ivan the Terrible) will not poop in our lawn. He goes to my moms lawn. Our sub pump hasnt stopped running in weeks, and it floods her yard. No matter to her, since she is always over here babysitting the grand children. Its a wonder she hasnt got call display yet. If I were her, I would have it and I would screen my calls. But my mother loves me and she is the very best grandmother around.

We won a fly in fishing trip through the newspaper that we are cashing in on next weekend. It is in Wabakimi, Armstrong. We fly out Sat. morning and return on Monday. I have always wanted to do a fly in trip, but I am truly scared to death about the float plane. So put in some extra prayers for us, we want lots of fish....and since they will only allow us to fly with 60 lbs of luggage each (bedding, food, clothes, bugspray, tackle and bait AND BOOZE), we will NEED the fish...because we have decided just to bring water and the stuff to cook the fish in. And beer. We can live without the rest of it.

Off to the lake.

Dummy doo doo

2008-06-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

Thats what their Nanna calls their soothers. At first, I really thought it was a silly name for a soother, but with time, I have decided she was on to something.

The girls have only really ever used pacifiers while in their cribs at bedtime (well, once we got past the first year anyway), but lately I have noticed Svea has become almost obsessive about them. Yesterday she crossed the line to clinically insane when she became absolutely hysterical when she found a door dividing herself and her soother. I decided then and there that I was only going to have "Boken" soothers in the house after that. I "Boke" every soother with a pair of scissors I could get my hands on. Each desperate cry for a "doo doo" resulted in another "boken" one. Eventually she decided on one particular "boken doo doo" that she still enjoyed. Ugh. So, I feel like a real dummy when it comes to this "doo doo" thing. I figured I would see what tommorow brings before any further action. I took a very endearing video of her fit, but I cant figure out how to upload it.

This morning Olivia woke and we went through a very similar process.

Doubles. I have a feeling I will be experiencing dejavou every other day until the girls move out.

Hayden has been such a good boy this morning. Thought I would make note of that.

I cry everyday

2008-06-17T09:33:00.000-07:00

I do. I know it sounds strange, especially for those of you who really know me. My friend Manda (mom of twins I speak of often from my "due date club") lost her beautiful 9 month old daughter, Aleah, in Feb. 2007. I will never be the same because of this mom and her beautiful angel daughter. She recently introduced me to a blog of a woman who lost her 3 year old daughter. Every time I read that blog, I cry. I cry for that beautiful little girl and her mom and for Manda and Aleah and for every mom who ever has lost their child. I cant stop myself from immediately imagining what it would be to lose one of my own children, and the truth is, I cannot. I can cry these tears and gasp in pain at the loss of someone elses child, but the reality is that I experience only the tiniest fraction of what these moms have endured, what they have lost, and what kind of strength they require to keep going on.

I gain so much from these daily tears, I have to tell you. I remember how truly lucky I am to have these beautiful children. Each tear, tantrum, mess, and frustration is symbolic of the life that lives on under this roof. Of how very precious each moment is and how important my job is as these kids mom. I dont want to just manage my days and make it through. I want these children to know exactly how special they are, how beautiful, and most importantly, how loved. People comment all the time on how they dont know how I do it (clearly in reference to the 3 at 2 and under factor) and I completely understand the innocence of the question. But it has me thinking...why should I just endure this as the question almost implies? I dont endure this everyone....I truly love it. And I am honoured to have this important job. How heartbreaking that in order to come to this conclusion at this point in my life, I read a blog and cry a river of tears for someone elses beautiful lost child. But, these children have impacted so many people this way. Have inspired so many moms to be so much better parents. To understand their true responsibility to their kids has nothing to do with "making it through", but rather to be a tool their child can learn to fly with.

Time to stop sucking.

2007-10-22T13:52:00.000-07:00

Manda says I suck because I have posted 2 blogs in a year and I have decided she is right. So here I am.

I dont know what I was talking about in the last post when I said Olivia is calm and serene. Ha. She is "The Destroyer". She is sensitive and emotional and throws absolutely everything. Lately she is a nose picker to. Your nose, her nose, whomevers. She knows if she squeezes a nose, it will honk, so if she reaches for yours, you know your job. Her sister has started to walk. Sometimes Olivia sticks out a foot just in time as Svea walks by. I dont think its by accident either. Since Svea tends to torture Olivia by stealing her toys or holding her walker so she cant "walk", and Olivia has simply found a way to get her back.

Svea is one intellegent baby. Not to say that Olivia is not, of course....but Olivia is so busy grabbing stuff she shouldnt, she lacks in paying attention. Svea knows how to dissassemble things. Like the kitchen table. I noticed washers and nuts laying on the floor under the kitchen table several days in a row, which I was mystefied by. Turns out Svea has been standing under the table and working on removing them. And here I was wondering why my table was so wobbly. Daddy fixed it and its all good. But I wonder what is next? I notice her reaching for door handles now. Goody.

Till next time...

Spring has sprung

2007-04-10T09:51:00.000-07:00

OK, so I never made a single post in the month of March. So much for the promises I made to myself to write at least once a week...I suppose those promises went wayside along with my plan to go to the gym at least four times a week. The world will go on.

Spring is here..and as per usual, my mind begins to dance with images of horses floating down the rail with style and grace...my horse specifically. Also, images of money floating away drift in and out of my mind. Gosh I love spring. It is always filled with such promise. With the exception of its poopy smell, it just might be my favourite time of year. A new beginning. This year marks the first full summer I will spend with our girls. I get to watch them dip their toes in the water at the beach this summer, wear pretty sundresses and play in the grass. I am pumped.

Svea and Olivia are hysterical. My life is complete. Svea is ornery and full of mischief and has this hysterical sense of humour. Olivia is serene and gentle and loves to cuddle. What totally different babies I have. Svea is now fully mobile. She is into everything, much like I was warned about by all those well meaning folks who warned me I would have my hands full. Olivia is just beginning to push up..she is quite satisfied at this point with wiggling across the room backward on her belly. I am not sure where her personality comes from...neither Ben nor myself are particularly calm or serene. Perhaps we will find out when she becomes a teenager. But we aren't there yet...and I intend to enjoy these next 12 years until the big 13 hits. So we wont talk about that.

Anyway, I have got to run..the girls should be waking soon and I have show clothes to order....

And this day starts now..

2007-02-27T06:39:00.000-08:00

It really has been one of those weeks. The girls are just recovering from our first flu bug. After a little better than a week worth of unmentionable messes, crankiness, and many loads of laundry, the girls are "kind of" back to their regular selves. Unfortunately, that may have been the easiest part of the week, as the world has lost several important members that I would like to mention. Feb 20th marked the loss of both Bill Farmer and Scotty Shear. Bill was an amazing person who meant a lot of things to a lot of people. He will be greatly missed. Scotty was one of those guys everyone spoke of with a sparkle of humour in their eyes. Scotty was full of character and life. He will always be remembered. Aleah Marie, a special little baby who made a big impact on many, many lives passed away into the arms of god on Feb. 22. The world will never be the same...but it is better having had her in it, as she touched the hearts of everyone who was involved in her life. We will never forget you Aleah. Our thoughts are with the families of these amazing people.