Mom and I went to see Marley & Me last night. Beware if you choose to watch this movie. I had to bite my lip for about 10 minutes trying to avoid an embarrassing display of emotion in the form of howling sadly along with the others. For ten minutes that theatre became dead quiet, with the exception of heartbroken sobbing, sniffling and coughing...it was THE longest sad scene I have ever survived.
Anyway, Jenny made reference to something that I can relate to very very well. She was telling her husband of how life is with children and said "I didn't know it would be this hard, no one tells you.". And obviously, I wanted to shout out YES. There are no words to describe how your life will change when you become a parent. There is no way to accurately describe how much you will sacrifice of yourself to become the new person your children require you to be in order to meet their needs. No one tells you about how frustration can tear at your throat until you want to scream, how the loneliness can echo loudly in your heart as you wish desperately for an adult to talk to. How the phone can evoke a hatred you didn't know existed when it wakes your baby from the nap you spent hours preparing for. How impossibly tired you can be. How no matter how you feel you must plug through the motions and try to remember why your life is everything you dreamed it would be. And it is. No one can describe how much you can love you children either. Right now I am not talking so much about that, as I am saying that I didn't know how hard this was going to be. Would I change it? Do I regret it? No. But it is very hard sometimes to keep the good stuff in the front of the brain load and the tough stuff in the back. I suppose it will be a life long process. All while the time spins out of control and my babies turn into moody teenagers. Right now I long for age 6. The fairytale years. Bring it on.
Anyways...most of you probably saw these photos on facebook already, but I want to share again. Thank you to Shelley and Bert for filling up the trunk, Shelley and Candi for donating it, and Uncle Merrit for painting it. Its beautiful and we will treasure it for years to come. Thank you :)